My birthday was on Sunday...Tim is the sweetest husband ever. Not because he did anything super sweet but just because he is...well...just because. We went to breakfast at whataburger (not the healthiest but my favorite) and then to my cousins for lunch. The majority of the morning was spent relaxing, playing on my new laptop, and jamming out to 50 cent "In Da Club" haha. After lunch we hit the mall...we went shopping until about 6:00 then came home to the puppies. We shopped for quite some time and I didn't hear one complaint out of Tim. He just kept asking me "where to now" so sweet.
The baby thing...well...we're still trying. I don't think I ovulated this month. Mainly because I wasn't on clomid, but we'll start back on it next month. We knew we were taking that chance when the time came this month to start on it and we didn't. We just had that feeling that we were pregnant and didn't want to harm our baby. So it really doesn't matter to us that we missed 1 month.
I got a text from my friend today that she found out at the doctor today, she has signs of endometriosis. My prayers are definitely with her and her husband tonight. I kinda wish my doctor would've done more research/tests before he put me on Clomid, but I just have to remember that God has plans and I have trust in him.
I received an email today and there was something in it that really hit hard. It said that when we finally do have our own little one, while everyone else is complaining about being up at 3am with a screaming kid, we will cherish it because of how bad we want one now. I find this to be very true. I know a couple girls who have babies and while I'm (a tad) jealous, there are times when I hear things they say about being tired and wish so bad for that. I want to have black circles under my eyes from being up all night, I want to have spit up on my clothes, (gross I know). More than anything I want to see my little one's hand wrapped tightly around Tim's finger. Sometimes it's hard to not feel like a failure because you're a woman and you are supposed to have children. The one thing God made for us to do and I can't even do that right. But God is good and I know he will provide.
I'm so thankful I have a friend I can talk to about all this. Most of my friends are not ready for kids and really have no idea what I'm going through but it's nice to have someone I can share my experience with-other than Tim of course. Someone who really knows. So to that person...Thank you!
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