going to the chapel!!!

Guess who's getting MARRIED!!!

woohoo!!!! Finally!!! :)

NEW CAR!!!!!!!

I finally got a new car!! wooohooo!!! It's beautiful!! I have been looking for the past 6 months and finally found one that I LOVE and can actually afford!

It's a 2003 Nissan Maxima! [I haven't taken any of my own pictures yet but here are the dealers pictures =) ]

I'm just sooo stinkin excited, I just want to drive it all day long!

NEW JOB!!!

yep....You're now looking at the Supervisor of Ticket Sales for the Pensacola Civic Center.
woohoo!! and I start 1 week from tomorrow.

yay!!

Vacation Bible School is over!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!

hot summer days

Man...This month is flying by at a rapid pace. I know it's only the 12th and to some people it may feel different. But it seems like for me I don't have enough time to get stuff done!!

Let's see where to start:

June 30th was Heathers wedding! yay!!! She was a very beautiful bride and was just so excited when they announced Mr and Mrs Rhett Summerford. SO cute! ((definately makes me more impatient for my big day))
After the wedding we went to the reception for a little and then me and Tim met up with some friends of mine from Grade School and we had dinner with her and her husband. It was so much fun! We ended up going over to their house after and hanging out. I was worried that we wouldn't have much to say after not talking for so many years. But it was like nothing had changed. I'm so blessed to have this girl and her family back into my life.


July 1st was my first big meeting for Vacation Bible School. I was sooo stressed out about the whole thing all morning. I was literrally almost in tears. But during the service I said a quick prayer for God to just get me through the meeting and it seemed to work. I was as cool as a cucumber and simply floated through the meeting! Afterwards, Tim was telling me how great I did and he said that him and God had a one on one during church b/c he could tell how stressed I was. He is just the sweetest boy and I'm so lucky to have him!!

July 3rd was the Montgomery Gentry Concert. Fun FUN FUn!!! We all had such a great time!! From the beginning of Rhett Akins and only knowing 1 song "That ain't my Truck" but then realizing that we knew "Don't get me started" and others , Tracy Lawrence and singing at the top of our lungs "Paint me a Birmingham" and "Find out who your Friends are", and then Montgomey Gentry with "Some People Change", "She don't tell me too", "Lucky Man", "Gone" and many many more!!! We ended up having seats on the 3rd row from the stage so that made it all the more fun!!





July 4th was of course THE 4th! Me and Tim hosted a little bar-b-que at our house and had a couple friends over. Tim made some killer ribs and I made my famous potato Salad. It was yummy!! Then me and Tim rode downtown and found a cozy spot with some of his friends and watched the fireworks with a bottle of wine. Very romantic! This past weekend I came down with some bacterial infection. I started feeling a little yucky on Thursday and ended up going to the doctor on Friday afternoon. I noticed I had white patches on my throat and was afraid I had strep. The throat culture thing came back negative and the doc put me on a zpac. Which I've never ever taken before. SO needless to say my body responded very drastically. I was litterally in bed all weekend. My fever reached 101 on Saturday night and I seriously thought I was getting worse rather than better. Anyways...Monday morning I woke up and noticed I could actually swallow. I finally reached 100% on Tuesday evening. But boy...it was horrible!

The next few weeks are going to be so busy! This weekend I have a pool party for the kids and then the Jones fight. Next weekend is the Blue Angels. The 28th is a VBS Celebration picnic
and then the following weekend is decorating for Vacation bible school!!! I definatley have my work cut out ahead of me! I'm stressing...but only a little! :)

Save my sanity

It's been a little while. I am about to pull my hair out working 2 jobs. Not that the Children's Director part is all that hard...but the parents definately make it a bit more challanging than it should be. Plus a part of me is always wondering in the back of my mind if I'm really the right person for this position. Should I really be getting paid even though I'm doing a sucky job? anywho...thats why I had lunch with the preacher today. Man...I was relieved after that. Everytime we have a chat I just feel so rejunivated! I feel like I can do anything. I guess it's because he supports me so much and has so much faith in me and man...that feels so good! So we'll see how it goes. I just continue to leave in Jesus' hands and let him do all the work. It's really in him that I've managed this long without going insane!

On a brighter note. I spoke with my dad 2 nights ago for the first time in about 3 months and for once, I don't have anything bad to say. He was actually decent. Which is saying a lot for him. He didn't even put me down 1 time! And he asked about Tim...which he never ever does. I was beginning to think he hated Tim, but he asked when we were getting married and even said that he's ready to have some grandchildren. Funny uh? I'm still struggling over that issue. Not the children part..but the marriage part definately! I know I want to marry Tim and I know he wants to marry me...but when I think about that...all I can think about is "who will walk me down the aisle?" Bad uh? I honestly don't know if I want my father to do that. As bad as it sounds. I've even seriously considered asking Carrie's dad to do the honor. He's been more of a father to me than my own dad has. But I guess we'll just see when that day gets here.

Tim and I haven't been doing much lately. We've really been putting lots of money aside to invest into our first home together. We're both ready to buy our first house and it's exciting to know that we both want the same thing. Nothing too big...nothing fancy. We really want to buy something we can invest in and make into something. A "fixer upper" if you will. Lame I know..but we want to look back in 10 - 15 years and see all we've accomplished on our own. We know we don't have much money and our parents are not going to put much money into our future so we have to do it all on our own. Which is fine. Because I know we can! We're going to see Evan Almighty on Friday and I'm so excited! That movie looks so funny! I'll let you all know how it is!

new

so I got new hair....

another weekend

man...weekends go by way too fast.
Friday we were going to go to the parade but I didn't get off work until 5:15 or so and I was running around everywhere trying to get ready...but we just didn't make it. I tell ya...working 7:00 to 5:00 can really take a lot out of ya. I was exhausted!! We ended up going to the oar house for dinner and then heading to some small bar on blue angel for "a drink" with some friends. Which ended up lasting till about 12:00 that night. Man...drinking cheap liquor and cheap beer...not a good idea. I felt Miserable all night. Definately won't do that again! ever!
Here's some pictures from that night.






Saturday we woke up around 7:30 and headed out to Pensacola beach. The surf was apparantly "the best it's ever been in Pensacola" I had fun watching all those boys ripping it up! haha! I just laid on the beach and read my book while Tim and all his friends stayed in the water the WHOLE time! I tell ya..I definately need to make some friends with surfer's girlfriends. I definately don't get bored being on the beach.I actually love it! But it would be nice to have someone to gossip with! haha!
We left the beach around 4:30 or so and headed home. We rented night at the museum and definately didn't watch much of it before Tim started snoring. Surfing just wears him out!
Sunday we took the boat out around 1:30 and attempted to fish. The waves were so rough on the way out...I got SOAKED by waves coming over the boat. All I could think about was "local boat capsized in the gulf today." I'm a bit of a chicken when it comes to rough waves. but Thank the Lord...We survived!! I got a little too much sun this weekend but it was all worth it. I always have fun when I'm outdoors. I guess being stuck inside all day makes me love the outdoors even more!!

wow...I should start taking pictures

This weekend was so much fun! I just love long weekends. Especially when that means getting Monday off b/c it just makes the work week go by that much quicker! woohoo! This weekend was spent doing some major beachin' in Orange Beach. Me and Tim went every day...mainly so he could surf b/c the surf was up everyday! But I also got some major sun! yay!! Saturday we went to Alabama Point and let me tell you...that walk to the beach is a killer!! Seriously you walk for about a mile before you get to the layout spot. But Tim claims thats the best surfing spot so I decided to bite the nail and take the hike. With 2 chairs, beach bag, surfboard, and cooler...Lets just say I got some exercise in this weekend fo sho! We stayed out there until about 4:00 or so, then went home to get ready for the PELICANS game. Which we were late for. and I missed the flyover. and we had to leave early b/c Tim's dog got out of the yard. So we went home and ended up falling asleep around 9ish. boo! Sunday was church, then back to Orange Beach. Except this time we went to Terry's Cove. Which in my opionion is the BEST BEACH SPOT EVER! There are showers, bathrooms, and its free! woohoo! plus there are plenty of good spots by the water there. Even when it is packed! We stayed until about 5:00 this time b/c we were both starving and decided to head home and grill some chicken. AND it was sooo yummy! Monday we woke up around 8:00 and headed out to the beach early. Tim wanted to get some good surfing in...blah blah blah! But we ended up staying until around 4:30 which means..brandi = burnt!! Then we went home and loaded up the dogs and took them to Bayview Dog Beach! They had so much fun...except for the whole Bandit trying to hump every dog in there part! He is one horny puppy!!! It was so embarrasing. But I got over that real quick when Tim had to clean up Rusty (his dog's) poop. That was too funnY! :) There were a LOT of dogs there too! Which surprised me that none of them started fighting. But instead they had a blast!! Running in and out of the water and chasing balls around. Quite Entertaining!

My favorite part of the weekend none the less was just spending it with Tim. I stayed at his house all weekend and that was so much fun! I just love him so much and love spending all my time wrapped up in him. Its so relaxing!

Anyways...thats my weekend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARRIE ELIZABETH!!!!

Make sure to turn your volume up when playing! I love you girl!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Who Can???

I swear I heard that enough this weekend to last me my lifetime. (Just kidding Carrie) Anyways... Me and Tim actually had fun this weekend. I went to 4 baseball games in a row and for me...that's pretty amazing! I have to admit it though...I had fun! From watching Carrie do the chicken dance, me and tim rolling around in a big ball, Watching the guy next to me in amazement that it's possible to get THAT excited about a second out, to seeing Scoop (aka Robbie) perform a wonderful Air Gutair solo! Really thats all me and Tim did was attend the pelican games. We went to the beach on Saturday which is what we always do...seriously every weekend. And then church on sunday. But after the beach and after church we headed to the games. Carrie just makes me so proud with her "grown up" job. I just love supporting her and if that means suffering through 9 innings of baseball...well then so be it. Tim had a lot of patience also to take me. After about the 3rd inning I seemed to always be complaining about being thirsty, hungry, or just bored. But he just laughs and hands over a few dollars to keep me occupied. Like I'm a child or something! Haha!!



Anyways...hope you all have a great rest of the week!

love

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

fun times.

This weekend was quite a blur. It just goes by way to fast! Friday we celebrated quatro de mayo with all our friends which was so much fun! I forget sometimes how much fun it is to just go to dinner and hang out. Then we went to Karaoke...which is soooo much fun and we do it all the time. But it's even better now b/c we're actually starting to get the guts up to sing! (except Carrie...loser) haha! Saturday Tim and I woke up and headed out on the boat with our friends Lyle and his fiance Amanda and another couple. It was fun watching all our boys show their skills wakeboarding. Even though us girls were too chicken to try. Tim hit the water pretty hard one time and it really scared me. But he was ok. He did wake up Really sore the next morning though. After the boat...we went home and changed and then headed up to Los Rancheros for CINCO DE MAYO! Fun fun!! I felt bad b/c there were so many of us and we had to split up but thats ok. After dinner we headed to the Ticket for some De La Hoya boxing! Watching a boxing event is always more fun at a bar. Everyone gets so in to it. We had such a good time! Sunday was just a relaxing day. It was our 1 Year Anniversary!!! woohoo!!!!! We didn't really do much, except go to the crawfish festival. Which was sooooo yummy!!! And we ate so much crawfish....I wish they had that every weekend! I would definately go. After we got home we watched the rest of the race and I took a nap. Then Tim changed his oil in his car and we headed back to my house to put up an electric fence for Bandit. :( which doesn't work b/c he's stubborn. So I'm going to have to come up with something else. Any Ideas???? Please let me know. Remember...he jumps our 4 ft fence now. And he doesn't care about getting shocked with an electric fence.

Anyways...thats all for now.

talladega Pictures

This is Tim feeding those crazy ducks. They were so brave. There is a video on my myspace of them eating bread right out of his hand.
This of course is Tim and his boy Jr's car.
Crazy Jr Fans!
This was our first night. Ribs on the grill. YUMMY! We had Steak Saturday night and hamburgers Sunday night. Tim knows how to do it right.
our Jr. Gear
My baby.

me cheesing.

Talladega!!!

This weekend was such a great weekend! Me and Tim left early Friday morning (I'm talking 7:00 am) and headed to Alabama. We stayed at this really cool campsite I found online about 4 hours away called Logans Landing. If you ever want to do the camping thing...I really suggest this campsite. It's the cleanest campsite I've been to, and the people that run it are all the nicest people ever. They even have Karaoke on Friday and Saturday nights which was a lot of fun! Anyways. Friday we just set up camp, drank a few beers, grilled some ribs, and hung out. Saturday we stayed around the camp site all day and just spent time together. We fished, grilled some more, drank some more beer, took a long nap, got some sun. Oh it was a great day. And the weekend was so nice too so that made it even better. Sunday we woke up early...Tim woke up at 5:00 and I finally crawled out of bed around 7:00, we headed out to the race track around 8:00. We were trying to beat all the major traffic which we didn't. We still got caught in a gridlock. Their were over 200,000 people there so just imagine. The race was awesome!! I've never been so interested in a sporting event in my life. We had so much fun!!! And I'm a race fan now, so that made Tim happy. Whats really cool is they let you bring in coolers, and bags so we took in food and beer that way we didn't have to spend money there. Even though we did! I got a sweet pink dale jr shirt which I immediately put on..so I didn't get to show off my shirt that I made the night before. Boo! Jr didn't win, Gorden did! another big BOO!! and Tony Stewart got a little hot headed and after crashing into the wall ran onto the track and flicked another racer off...It was a little crazy! I've never seen so many rednecks all together in my life. So that was entertaining. We hung around about an hour and half after the race so we wouldn't get stuck in traffic. We played some frisbee and then layed a blanket on the grass and took a nap in the shade before heading back to camp. I was so sad to leave this morning. I had such a fun time, and I gaurantee I will go back again. We decided that we're going to go every year now and make it a ritual...that way when we get old and gray our kids will have something to talk about when they make Talladega a ritual! It's exciting! That's all for now.

love

As I was laying in bed next to Tim last night and we were both soaking up pages from our books (it's become an every night ritual)...I realized that I am TRULY in love. I know I know...you would think that I would already know that seeing as how I talk about him pretty much constantly...but it was just that moment. I'm sure we've all experienced it. When we blink our eyes and for a brief second even our own minds can't fathom how much we love someone. Deep..I know. But it was such a great moment. As I was laying there, watching him read his book. He started telling me about how crazy Islamic culture is and how weird some of the stuff they believe in is. (he's reading Journey to Jerusalem) I love that he enjoys sharing all these spiritual facts with me. He really loves Jesus so much! And for that split second, I knew deep in my heart that he was the one for me. That there isn't any where else on earth I could be any happier than when I'm with him. As I was trying to tell him my feelings and explain how much I love him...he simply looked at me and with knowing eyes said, I have that same feeling every morning when I wake up and see you laying next to me. ::sigh:: isn't love grand?!

woah...what a week!

This past week has definately been one filled with all kinds of sadness!! I was sitting at work on Monday morning playing on myspace I'm sure when I heard about the VT tragedy. It was just crazy to hear about all those poor souls that were lost. Me and my co-workers were just shocked! The rest of the day was spent just kinda quietly going throughout our day not really knowing what to do or say. It definately made me feel God's Grace.

This weekend went by WAY to fast!! Friday night we went to UWF to watch my brother play in the all star shootout basketball game. It was so much fun to watch all the highschool boys just have fun playing in their own element. You could really tell how much these guys loved Basketball. Then me, Tim, Carrie, Craig and his roommate met at Shooters for some good entertainment. AKA: Karaoke. I love watching Karaoke!! It wasn't the best night to go b/c the crowd was sorda dead, but we still had a good time. I even sang!! Gotta love some Sara Evans. And Tim sang...and once he sings one song, you can't get him to stop!! BUT that's why I love him so much!!!

Saturday morning we woke up early and headed to the beach. It was a little chilly but we had a good time. It's so relaxing to sit in my chair next to Tim while we both get some well deserved sun and enjoy our books. We stayed at the beach until about 3:30 and then went home for some Thompson's sausage on the grill. yummy!!! We then layed around and semi-watched the race.
Sunday was church day. Then Softball practice. Me and Carrie tried the beach but the sun was hiding from us so we decided to treat the guys at practice with some Krispy Kreme. None of those silly boys wanted them though. Hurt our feelings. :(
SO I went home, and then Tim came and picked me up and we headed BACK to the beach. Gotta love dating a surfer. He caught a few waves and I sat in my chair and read the majority of my book. It was a good weekend in all but I'm so excited about this weekend and getting the heck out of Pensacola.
This weekend is TALLADEGA!!! We decided to leave on Friday and come back Monday and we're camping the whole weekend!!I just love camping so much and it will be my first time camping with Tim. The place we're staying is having a big shin-dig this weekend b/c its Race Weekend so they are having a DJ on Friday and Saturday night and a best decorated campsite contest on Saturday! They even have a fishing lake and a swimming lake...and a Pool!! But most importantly..they have showers!!! woohoo!! It will be so much fun and I'm so excited!! We are deciding to use this weekend as our anniversary weekend b/c the next weekend will be 1 year together!! Crazy!!!

"he wrecked the car again"

This weekend has been probably the hardest weekend I've been through in a while. My mom worked so hard on getting her car back for my brother to drive. See...they thought it was totalled, but the people at the junk yard fixed it enough for it to be driveable and since it still had a few dents in it and no air bags, my mom thought it would be perfect for my brother to drive. She got it out of the junk yard on Thursday for $500 and let my brother drive it to school. When I got home from work that day, I was cleaning up some around the house and getting ready for our church softball game when my mom called to let me know that Tyler had wrecked the car again. At first I thought it was just a bad joke. I didn't want to believe her. Mainly b/c I knew that she had used the money for her house payment to get the car out of the junk yard. Eventually, it sunk in enough for me to collapse on the bathroom floor and sob my eyes out. I mean. Tyler is ok and that's really all that should matter. and it does. But...when does it stop? I know that there are other people out there with more problems than a simple car wreck and that the world doesn't revolve around my issues. But geez. I don't know how much more I can take. Seems like every time my little family takes 1 step forward, we get pushed 3 steps back. What hurts me even more is to think about what happens when I move out. When I'm finally able to move on and start my own life. What will happen here? Everytime I turn around there is money coming in from my grandparents, and when I ask my mom what the money is for...it's normally for minor stuff. But what happens when that money goes from being for Tyler's senior pictures to being for the water bill or the electric bill? What about when they can't afford to send any more money and instead of running water, that bill that can't be paid is for the roof over my brother's head. I have to worry about this stuff because these are the bills that I'm paying. And I really don't mind paying them...but what happens when I'm ready to buy my own house. Should I even think about this at all? I mean is that selfish of me...to want my own life. I feel guilty thinking about it because I know that when I'm in my mom's house, at least things are being paid. And I'm not saying that she's a bad mom...because she's not at all. I just think that she has more on her plate than she can handle at one time and that she honestly does not know how to handle it all anymore. It gets so frustrating getting calls from her at work asking for $100 here and $50 there because of stuff that she forgot to pay...but will it ever stop? If this is just temporary until she gets caught up..then will she ever be caught up? Its a hard thing to think about. Especially for me. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I'm not strong emotionally and especially now. I've spent the weekend crying at a drop of a hat. Poor Tim hasn't really known what to do with himself. Every time he turns around I'm crying at something stupid. Friday was a rough day at work and I just walked around in a daze. I ended up leaving early and coming home to nap for a few hours.
Not only are things with the car situation bad, but my mom went to the doctor last week and they found that she has a few problems physically that have been caused by all the stress. The doctor put her on probably the most insane diet I have ever heard of and told her that she has to stay on it for 30 days to figure out if this fixes the problem. They found that she has Interstitial cystitis which is a pelvic disorder of some sort. She has cysts on her ovaries, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and she's going through pre-menopause. I know...God help me! haha. I think the menopause thing is the worse because she's been so emotional the past month or so. She tears up if you look at her the wrong way. seriously!! ugh.
It's just been a rough week and weekend. Needless to say. My mom is leaving for North Carolina on Tuesday and will be gone all week and my brother is staying with a friend this week so he'll have a ride to and from school, so hopefully I can be worry free....at least this week anyway. I can't wait till our Talladega trip so I can get away for a couple days. I think that's really all I need anyways.

....An Excerpt from The Awakening by Kate Chopin

A time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!!! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can. ~~~

happy birthday to Tim!

This weekend was so fun! Friday night was the molly ringwalds...which of course is always fun, but it was also mine and Tim's 11 month Aniversary. He has always loved keeping up with our anniversary since the day we started dating. Even his mom remembers and I think it's the sweetest thing. We went to dinner at the Oar House...yum. I just LOVE their fried pickels. They have the best there. After dinner we headed to seville to get our groove on with the ringwalds. We had such a great time. We left a little early though b/c my mom had family pictures scheduled at 8:30 the next morning. Boo! Tim went with us to get pictures and the lady took a bunch of me and him together. I can After pictures Tim and I went home for an hour nap before heading to my grandmas in milton for some good ol' Easter cooking. It was soo good. We were sooo sleepy after that but decided to go to the mall to hit some sales. We went to the Bealls in Milton on the way back to Pensacola, and that store is SOOOO much better than the one here!! Everyone should drive over and check it out! They have so much more stuff to choose from. That night we rented The Hills have Eyes. OOOhh...that was soooo scary. I'm such a wuss when it comes to scary movies. I like being scared and stuff, but I think I missed a lot of the movie b/c my eyes were closed. oops. Sunday was Easter of course, (and Tim's birthday) and Tim looked just so cute all dressed up. It really means so much to me that he's coming to church with me now. Even if I have to leave the last 30 minutes for childrens church, just knowing that he's there is so wonderful! He's the best! After church we went out to Molino to his Aunt and Uncles for some birthday celebration. They celebrated his, his cousins, and Tim's moms all in one day! Their house is on 5 acres and they have everything you could ask for to keep you entertained. Pool tables, ping pong, air hockey, fuse ball (which I beat Tim on all of) horses, 4 wheelers, pool with Diving board. Wow...I was just amazed when I saw everything. I hope to have a nice house like that one day a LOOOONNNGG way down the road. :) When we left Molino we went to Blockbuster and rented Blood Diamond. That movie was GREAT! I didn't think I would like it, but it was soooo good. It was so sad that some of it was true...about the child soldiers and what not, but it was a really good movie. Then we just went to bed after that...to get ready for Monday morning. boo!

*update*

Its been almost 2 months since the outbreak with the family. Things have gotten so much calmer around the house. Tim stays with me every night...I still have nightmares on occasion (basically just about loosing those close to me) so having him there really helps. My mom's mentioned about half a dozen times that he should just move his stuff in. And I'm sure if there was enough room in my closet for his stuff, he would. My mom stays gone almost every night...basically just to keep my brother calm. Since the car incident, I've had to take him just about everywhere...which is really only work and school. Man, this makes me realize how much I do NOT miss highschool. I thought getting to work at 7:30 was early, I forgot how hard it is to get to Tate by 7:00. Whew! It's rough! It's nice to have a boss who's close enough to being my step dad, I've been late almost every morning for the past 2 weeks simply b/c the traffic on hwy 29 is CRAZY at 7:15 in the morning. My brother has done a 150 degree turn around. Him and I have actually had nights where we would just sit and talk and laugh until we were both delirious from lack of sleep. There was one night in particular when he told me that he was scared to lose me....more than anyone else in his life. That's when it hit me that I'm his support. I have to be there for him, because he depends on me. No matter how mean he is or how hard things have been...I have to forgive him. It was that night that my brother (all 6'8") walked up to me, wrapped his arms around me, and just cried. When I crawled into bed with Tim around 3:00 that morning, Tim wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear.."that is how I know you are the most special woman in the world" It's amazing just how Magnificent God is. He knows exactly how much suffering to put us through just so we can see exactly where we need to be. That night Tyler told me to pray for him. Which I did. We did. Just looking back on it puts chills through my body.

Thank you girls so much for all the prayers through the past few months. I know we don't all talk on an everyday basis, but when I get on here and see that you have left such sweet words...It means more to me than you could ever know. I love you all so much!!!!

Gentlemen.....starrrrrt yourrrrr Engines!!!!

Tim's birthday is Sunday and I am pretty much the best girlfriend ever...I got him tickets to Talladega!!! If you know Tim, then you know he is a Jr. fan through and through. The race is on April 29th. And I'm so excited to give him his present. I just know he'll love it! And I'm excited to go to. I've never been to a real race, but I'm sure it's more exciting than a race a five flags. I'm calling my cousin this weekend to try and get pit passes for that weekend too. She's the one that moved to daytona to work for Nascar, so she's got the hookup. woohoo! I'm so excited!

"leave a message after the beep...."

This weekend was one of the BEST weekends me and Tim have had together...probably ever! Friday night we went to the races which is always fun...but after probably the 2184324987th caution...I was ready to GOOOO. He kept saying, "only 25 more laps""only 20 more laps" but it seemed like everytime they would get going again, there would be another caution. And I'm a patient person...but my goodness! Carrie met us there with some people from her work and Tim's boss and his girlfriend met us there too. So it was fun to have a group. Although I just sat there most the time eating my boiled peanuts while the 2 groups next to me talked! haha! I still had fun though. On Saturday, I had an Easter Egg Hunt at church while Tim went to get Tool tickets. After that we met up and headed to Orange Beach to catch some waves. Tim knew the surf would be up so we HAD to go out there. It ended up being a nice day and I even got some sun! It was so much fun watching my baby catch some waves. This was the first time I actually got to see him surf and it was just amazing! It may not mean much to many people, but surfing has always been one of The coolest things to me. I've always wanted to learn and watching people ride waves is just breathtaking for me. Seriously. Its almost spiritual in a way. Its such a hard sport to pick up and learn...I really commend those that aren't afraid. Watching Tim doing what he loves and seeing that he's so stinking good at it, made me fall in love with him all over again. He was like a little kid all day so excited to be going surfing...and before he even got in the water, just watching him watch the waves and other surfers was so sweet. I was so mad that my camera wasn't charged, so I could take pictures. But I'm sure there will be more opportunities. We stayed at the beach until about 4:00ish or so. Then we went and met my friend Tiffany for dinner at chilis. It brought back so many memories that the 2 of us have had together. She is such a funny girl and we always had so much fun together when we used to hang out. It made me realize how much I missed her friendship. Anyways. After dinner we went and met our other friend Megan who is in the Marines but was in town for the weekend...and we planned on going to a movie, but then we spent too much time in Target and missed all the showtimes...so Tim and I just went and rented "The Holiday" and took it home to watch it.

Which we didn't watch until Sunday b/c we fell asleep at like 10 pm on Saturday. Sunday...we went to church. And then went to Tailgaters for some Yummy hot wings. It was soooo good. It was such a change. I'm so used to going to montereys with carries family after church that changing it up a bit was fun! Me and Tim turned the race on at our table and just sat there enjoying eachother's company. Plus watching him sweat over his "HOT" wings while I just enhaled my "mild" wings....was pretty funny. I felt bad for him all day though b/c as bad as he wanted to watch the race, he called the surf report every 30 minutes because the waves were chest to over head high...and he wanted to go, but he didn't want me to sit in the rain watching him. It finally stopped raining around 4:00 but by then the race was getting good and we were just lounging around the house so he ended up not going to the beach. He was so sad though b/c Jr. lost anyways....and I'm sure he regreted not going. :( By the time the race was over it was after 6:00pm. And I had forgotten about meeting Carrie's fam for dinner (sorry) :( so we went to his house and ate dinner with his family. After that, we were driving back to my house and he went a different way...which was unusual but whatever. When I asked him where he was going he just said he wanted to look at something. He took me to this house for sale on Tower Ridge Road...he said he saw that it was for sale and wanted to see what I thought about it. Holy cow...it was so Beautiful! And so sweet to know that he's seriously looking at houses for me and him. We went to a few more houses out in Beulah and it was fun to just think about our future together. When we got home we put in the movie and I looked at some houses for sale online while cuddled up next to him on the couch. It was so sweet hearing him talk about different houses we would find and why it would or wouldn't be perfect for us. And while we aren't buying anything tomorrow...it was nice just looking. That was my favorite part of the whole weekend!!!

children's moment

I started my new job at the church on March 15th but haven't really got to do much with it until this past week. I had my first official staff meeting and a birthday party with our partners in education OJ Semmes Elementary. The staff meeting went well. I went over all my vacation bible school plans and everyone was so impressed with how much planning I've done already when I've only been "on board" for about a week and a half. With a fairly new paster, new youth director, and new children's director...I'm soooo excited to see the changes that will come with our church. Especially since we are all young and are all on the same page with plans and what not. I even may get to chaperone the youth trip this year to Kentucky. I can see God's vision already and that in itself is amazing! I will admit however...it will be hard to work 2 jobs when the staff meetings at church are right in the middle of the day. It works out usually that I can just take my lunch break then, which is fine...it just wears me out. Going all day. Especially lately since I've been working 10 hour days at my full time job, and then not getting that lunch break to just relax/tan/whatever. However...yesterday at OJ Semmes...I realized that it is all worth it. We were at OJ Semmes giving out birthday cake and singing happy birthday, laughing at how sweet the cake icing was, and how our cake slices were starting to resemble pizza slices....and Darren (our pastor) was telling the kids how happy he was to be there...when this little girl in the preschool class runs up, taps him on the arm..he looks down and says "yes ma'am" she says in the sweetest voice, "I have to go to the bathroom."

It was the cutest moment of the day. Just to see how innocent all these children are. That is how I know that my calling is to be with children. I love love love working with them and being in their presence. I learn so much everytime I'm with a child of any age. Last night at church we died and stuffed the eggs for the Easter egg hunt this weekend...and seeing the children's faces as they dropped their eggs in to the dye and then pull them out with their little fingers...it was the cutest thing! And then watching as they put candy in the eggs and getting so frustrated when the candy they wanted didn't fit. SO precious.

I'm just so excited!!!

Settling

Last night I came to the realization of one thing...I am getting OLD. My mom asked me what my plans were and I simply told her...nothing. Which isn't such a big deal. But a year ago to date I was the one that was out just about every night of the week. I enjoyed going out and getting a drink during happy hour. I enjoyed late nights of drinking and meeting new people every night. Those were probably the best days of my life. I miss it sometimes. I definately don't regret it...I would have never met Tim if I hadn't gone out with a bunch of guys one night. Now, however...when the day is done, all I want to do is go home, curl up on the couch with a good book and Tim's arm around me, and settle in for the night. My mom said a few days ago that she noticed I spent a lot more time at home than I used to. Actually I'm at home more than my mom is. And it isn't because I don't have money or that I don't have anywhere to go...I just simply don't want to go anywhere. I enjoy spending time at home with my family. I like that Tim and I can just come home, prop up our feet, and relax..and be completly content. And it feels really good to know that we're both on the same page. He's already got all of his partying/going out days out of his system and so have I. We are ready to "settle down." We're ready to start our lives together...and that feels simply amazing. We have decided to start looking for a place together sometime at the end of this year and I simply can not wait. Not that it really matters one way or the other. We practically live together as it is. He stays at my house more than he stays at his own, so it would just make since for us to make it official.

I wanted to post more pictures from this weekend!!!

she's strong....pushes on...

This weekend was sooo much fun!! Weekends like this make me realize that everything is going to be A-OK. Me and Tim had a Very Relaxing weekend with a little bit of music and a LOT of sausage. We started on Friday and went to the sausage festival of course to see some Taylor Swift. I bought her cd a few weeks ago...so I was excited to see her. And minus all her stories before every song...I thought she was fun! We went from there to the ticket...which we had so much fun at! I love when there is a group of us hanging out. It's always so much more fun than when it's just 2 or 3 of us. I got everyone hooked on the ring game. If you haven't played it...you should. It was so much fun making fun of how serious people got playing it. haha...just thinking about it makes me smile. I ended up drinking a little tooo much so we left earlier than everyone else. Saturday we woke up early (7:30) and went to my cousin's house for her yard sale. Which I got the cutest Easter dress from her and then stole her entertainment center. She's the one moving to Daytona in a few weeks. I'm going to miss her so much. But I can't wait to party with her down there and me and Tim will be going to all the Nascar races so I'm real Excited about that!! We went over there in shorts and sweater's...bad idea...so we left from there and went straight home to put on some jeans b/c it was COLD! We then left from home and went straight to the sausage festival with our chairs and blankets to hold spots for our group. I was REAL excited to see Craig Morgan. I've seen him a few times and he is SOOOO much fun!! We got out there around 1:30 and stayed for both shows...so we ate a LOT of sausage and drank plenty of beer! We left around 10:15 or so. Went home and crashed!! I was soo tired from our long day. On sunday it was my first day as Children's Director. Well I was supposed to be shadowing until April 1st, but I was semi-on my own since the other girl was out of town. It was fun though. One of the parents went with me to children's church and I got to sit and talk with her for 30 minutes and get her view on the children's program. She gave me a LOT of input on I really got a chance to see what the parents want and hope from the program. So I'm really excited to try and meet or even succeed their expectations. I am so ready to work hard and help this program grow! I just loooovvvee children!!! After church, we went to monterey's..duh! And then I went home to cut the grass and help mom in the yard while Tim watched the Race. Then I went to my friend's little girls' birthday party! Angie (my friend) has 2 little girls...it was Ashley's party (turned3) and her other little one is Danielle (who's 2). They both Love Aunt Brandi! and I love them so much!! It's always a pleasure to spend time with these 2 girls. Me and Angie have known each other since around 3rd grade so we go way back. :)