Thursday, April 15, 2010

We are not ashamed...

Wow...I can't believe it's been 2 months almost since I've last blogged. I must get caught up. Let's see...

Tim and I decided a couple months ago to start church shopping..we just weren't getting the same feelings about our old church that we felt when we first started going there. So we got together with another couple and went to Marcus Pointe. Let me tell you...we FELL IN LOVE! The first day there we absolutely felt our hearts warming up to the church, preacher, worship music, etc. We decided 2 weeks later to join and haven't missed a Sunday since. I also got baptized by immersion 1 week after we joined. I have felt about 10x closer to Jesus than I have ever felt. It just seems like everything Pastor Godfrey says is directed right towards me and I actually FEEL God in that place. It's an amazing feeling when you finally reach a peace in your life and start to live your life For God. All I want to do now is worship Him and read my Bible. Our radio stays on worship music and Tim and I have even become closer in our marriage in the past 2 months. Crazy how a simple change in a church can change everything about how you view life.

This includes closing some untied ends. This is something I haven't really told anyone...The year I met Tim I was living with a friend. I shouldn't have moved out of my mom's house because I know I couldn't afford it but thats neither here nor there. I was at a point in my life (a few months before I met Tim) where I just wanted to do everything I could do to despise my mom, my dad, my family, my friends, and Jesus. I was living a sinful life. I was a liar. I was an alcoholic. I was living in a WORLD of sin. Including lying to my roommate.
 Well in a sermon I heard in church a couple weeks ago, the preacher was talking about relationships and how instead of running you just need to fix the one you got. Yes he was talking about marriage but I have had so many bad relationships that my mind was just running through everything I've been through the past 5 years...and this old roommate ran across my mind. I realized that I was wrong. And I also realized that I never even apologized to her for the stupid thing that I did. Sooo...I took a deep breath and sent her an email. Basically just apologizing for my stupid childish ways. It was a hard thing for me to do...admit I was wrong, but it was something God had been laying on my soul and I knew it was something I needed to do. I can't sit here and say that I am perfect because I know I'm no where near it. I know that I am not worthy of the Love and Grace that He provides for me every day. I also know that I can not say that I am a Christian when I have done such horrible things. So it was said. I didn't know if she would forgive me. I didn't know if she would tell the world about how absolutely horrible I had been. It was a scary thing. I think I was more afraid of what other people would think than what she actually thought. And that is probably the main reason why I hadn't apologized before now. We have the same friends, people talk, and when something big happens in friendship everyone takes sides, will gossip, and stab you in the back in a heartbeat. It's a scary world. But with that being said...she did respond to my email with a "thank you". At least I know that I took that step and apologized. I am a  Born again Christian! I can take things I've done in the past no matter how horrible and know that if no one else forgives me...My God does.

man...that was a lot. :o)

Other than that...the baby making is kind of put on hold right now. I had a meeting with my doc last week and he said that I need to have a laproscopic surgery done to make sure that I do not have endometriosis or that my tubes are not blocked. Emily had this done a couple months ago and she informed me it was  a breeze so I'll take her word for it. My surgery is set for next Friday. So say a prayer that everything goes well. It's nerveracking to be put to sleep. But Jesus is my comforter and he will get me through it. It's a small incision in your bellybutton and he will blow up my stomach with gas...then look around with a video camera and take pictures of anything he finds.

Lets see...oh..Tim and I are leaving for NC on Sat. Just a small vacation. We're taking the dogs with us to Rutherfordton NC to a campground that is designed for adults and their dogs. I'm so excited! You can see it for yourself here....www.4pawscampground.com

anyways.that's about it for now. ;o)

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