So I know I write on this thing probably more than I should...but I realized something last night and I wanted to share it. plus its a little more deep than my last little spill.
Have you ever woken up one morning thinking that your life was going downhill and that you were going to be stuck in a rut forever? I'm sure all of us have felt this way at one point or another. However...In my case it's a tad different. (little background) I was raised with great parents. My mom and dad were both great to each other and to others. They were the spitting image of what I wanted from my husband when I grew up. I was daddy's girl in a sense. Well, my dad was a drinker from the time I was born. He stopped drinking for about 7 years from the time was in 4th grade to about my Sophmore/Junior year of highschool. Then it was a downhill process. Not that I'm saying my life was bad...but my father was an alcoholic. A very mentally abusive alcoholic with some very bad qualities that followed because of it. Including not being able to hold down a job. I watched my mom struggle for years to just make the house payment. I would not change it for the world because it has made me who I am today. And I love my dad, don't get me wrong. Most girls grow up wanting their future husbands to be most like their fathers...I on the other hand am the opposite. If I see ANY characteristic of my father in any of my boyfriends...I RUN!! AND well for a minute in the beginning of mine and Tim's relationship I was thinking that maybe he wasn't right for me. But my mom reminded me that most men have the same qualities whether we like it or not and sometimes you just have to wait it out to see if that's what's right for you..so I've hung in there..me and Tim have talked. AND....now we're better than EVER! Last night at the game being with him was just right. I couldn't imagine him not being with me. And while there are times when I wish he wasn't with me...my future just doesn't look the same without him in it. I see all these other guys who are so dishonest and hateful, Tim's been nothing but Honest the whole time we've been dating. So well..we'll just see how it goes...but for now, I'm in love! and I love it!
6 comments:
Ok, I have to post another one:) I understand how you feel so much about Tim. Chris and I have gone through so so so so much, Carrie can tell you lots about it. When we get married, it will be 10 yrs together. But, when he turned 21, things changed a lot and we went through a very rough patch. Its just so amazing to look back and see how God's plan unfolded in the most incredible ways. I truly believe EVERYTHING, pain, tears, confusion- its all for a reason.
AND- I haven't seen Show me the Money! I want to! (little less deep! ahaha!)
First off, can you imagine my future husband being like my dad? HAHA! I love my dad to death, and I hope one day he is. But right now all I can think about is all of his "good one" antics. haha.
I agree with Emily, one day you will be able to look back on all the times with or without your dad and see how it molded you and made you realize what you want and don't want in your future husband. God definately has it all planned out and has since the day you were born. Yay for Brandi and Tim. :)
Brandi, it is so weird how similar our stories are. My dad is also an alcoholic, and has been for the last 15 years. I was a "daddys girl" as well when I was little and I still love him with an unconditional love. We talk probably once every few weeks, but there were times we didnt talk for years. Still, he is my dad, and I dont carry any animosity whatsoever, like you I am thankful for the person that I am, and my ability to relate to others who have gone through the same thing! =) Also, Ruco is a polar opposite of who my dad is..and im ok with that! Its exciting to know that our children will have an amazing dad that will always be there for them and make good decisions for our family! Im so glad that you are so happy with Tim, and that he will be an AMAZING dad for your kids!
It is really exciting picking out floor plans and stuff, but it's also very stressful!! I definitely can't wait until all this deal stuff is done and we can just be excited about building the house!! You and Tim are very cute together...I know ya'll have a great future ahead of you both!!
Thank you Brandi, I LOVE being your best friend too:) Your comment made me smile.
This time of year is so hard because I want to run out and buy all of the presents, but I know they'll be gone as soon as I see that person...so I wait to buy them...and it's killing me! It'll come soon.haha
update update!
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