woah!!

At least I was pre-warned that today would be a lot different the yesterday. Man were these girls right. I woke up and could barely move my arms. They are both (including my back and neck) so sore. My stomach feels like I had someone digging around in it. (haha) And my fingers are all so swollen they hurt to move them. Thank goodness we are off work still! Today will definitely be a day of rest. Since I am sitting here, I can at least post some pictures from our camping trip last weekend. We went to 4 paws campground in NC. If you haven't heard about it, you should def check it out. It's a campground built for dogs and their parents. They are not very child friendly which is fine for us now. Only b/c the majority of stuff they offer is built for dogs, not kids. here is their website if you are interested...www.4pawskingdom.com

this is my babies...including my husband! :o) We were trying for a family picture but of course right when I ran over, they jumped up thinking I was coming to play.

This was on the ride up...so sleepy.

this was our cabin...so cute.

This was the babies swimming...what they do best.

And this is Paisley! Beautiful girl!

after surgery....

So my surgery was today. They found endometriosis, and were able to remove it all. He did say that it will more than likely come back but at least for now it's gone. He also discovered that both my tubes were collapsed pretty severe, but thankfully he was able to open them back up. We're not sure what caused that or if it was from the miscarriage I had but we'll ask him that question when we go back in 2 weeks. Right now I'm feeling pretty good. Just a little drowsy. And my throat is KILLING me from the breathing tube they had to put in. It feels like someone took a knife and just scraped it down my throat. But they said it was normal so hopefully it will go away.  I'm also now starting to feel the holes in my stomach so I just took some pain med. (which I hate b/c I hate feeling drugged up...but I don't want the pain to get too severe)

The whole procedure went by so fast. I remember laying on the table, watching her put the meds in my IV. Then the student doctor came in that is working with Dr Antonetti, to make sure I was comfortable. I remember my eyes getting heavy and trying so hard to keep them open, then I remember talking to God...that's about it. Next thing I know I hear my name being called and being rolled into the post op room. I started coughing real bad, and I heard someone say, "uh oh do we have a smoker" and I wanted to so bad to say "No way! I haven't smoked in a year!" but couldn't talk. Then I heard someone else say, "no she had complications from her breathing tube" So at least someone stood up for me! I am so glad I don't smoke anymore...Praise God. Tim even said it seemed like he just opened his book to read when the doc was coming back out to tell him everything. The good news is that he said our most fertile time will be in the next 3-5 months and we should be pregnant by then!! wohoo!!! Tim said he sounded very positive about this so keep your prayers coming! Anyways....thanks for all the prayers..God is definitely our comfortor and saving grace and he rained down on me today in that operating room. I'm so glad that something was found and was fixable. Not that I wanted to have endo. but thankful that we now have an answer to all our questions!

I also am so blessed that we have such great friends...so many people called to check on me and Sarah brought us dinner tonight from Panera! Yummy!! So thank you all for the prayers and love! We love you too!

We are not ashamed...

Wow...I can't believe it's been 2 months almost since I've last blogged. I must get caught up. Let's see...

Tim and I decided a couple months ago to start church shopping..we just weren't getting the same feelings about our old church that we felt when we first started going there. So we got together with another couple and went to Marcus Pointe. Let me tell you...we FELL IN LOVE! The first day there we absolutely felt our hearts warming up to the church, preacher, worship music, etc. We decided 2 weeks later to join and haven't missed a Sunday since. I also got baptized by immersion 1 week after we joined. I have felt about 10x closer to Jesus than I have ever felt. It just seems like everything Pastor Godfrey says is directed right towards me and I actually FEEL God in that place. It's an amazing feeling when you finally reach a peace in your life and start to live your life For God. All I want to do now is worship Him and read my Bible. Our radio stays on worship music and Tim and I have even become closer in our marriage in the past 2 months. Crazy how a simple change in a church can change everything about how you view life.

This includes closing some untied ends. This is something I haven't really told anyone...The year I met Tim I was living with a friend. I shouldn't have moved out of my mom's house because I know I couldn't afford it but thats neither here nor there. I was at a point in my life (a few months before I met Tim) where I just wanted to do everything I could do to despise my mom, my dad, my family, my friends, and Jesus. I was living a sinful life. I was a liar. I was an alcoholic. I was living in a WORLD of sin. Including lying to my roommate.
 Well in a sermon I heard in church a couple weeks ago, the preacher was talking about relationships and how instead of running you just need to fix the one you got. Yes he was talking about marriage but I have had so many bad relationships that my mind was just running through everything I've been through the past 5 years...and this old roommate ran across my mind. I realized that I was wrong. And I also realized that I never even apologized to her for the stupid thing that I did. Sooo...I took a deep breath and sent her an email. Basically just apologizing for my stupid childish ways. It was a hard thing for me to do...admit I was wrong, but it was something God had been laying on my soul and I knew it was something I needed to do. I can't sit here and say that I am perfect because I know I'm no where near it. I know that I am not worthy of the Love and Grace that He provides for me every day. I also know that I can not say that I am a Christian when I have done such horrible things. So it was said. I didn't know if she would forgive me. I didn't know if she would tell the world about how absolutely horrible I had been. It was a scary thing. I think I was more afraid of what other people would think than what she actually thought. And that is probably the main reason why I hadn't apologized before now. We have the same friends, people talk, and when something big happens in friendship everyone takes sides, will gossip, and stab you in the back in a heartbeat. It's a scary world. But with that being said...she did respond to my email with a "thank you". At least I know that I took that step and apologized. I am a  Born again Christian! I can take things I've done in the past no matter how horrible and know that if no one else forgives me...My God does.

man...that was a lot. :o)

Other than that...the baby making is kind of put on hold right now. I had a meeting with my doc last week and he said that I need to have a laproscopic surgery done to make sure that I do not have endometriosis or that my tubes are not blocked. Emily had this done a couple months ago and she informed me it was  a breeze so I'll take her word for it. My surgery is set for next Friday. So say a prayer that everything goes well. It's nerveracking to be put to sleep. But Jesus is my comforter and he will get me through it. It's a small incision in your bellybutton and he will blow up my stomach with gas...then look around with a video camera and take pictures of anything he finds.

Lets see...oh..Tim and I are leaving for NC on Sat. Just a small vacation. We're taking the dogs with us to Rutherfordton NC to a campground that is designed for adults and their dogs. I'm so excited! You can see it for yourself here....www.4pawscampground.com

anyways.that's about it for now. ;o)

healthy start

so Tim and I started a "all natural kick"
Which means that we no longer eat processed foods, drink sweet tea (or any drink with sugar for that matter), and we have officially cut out anything that's labeled "bad for you" haha :o)

We also have been hitting the gym pretty consistently for the past 2 1/2 weeks now. I go 6 days a week and Tim goes about 4-6 depending on his schedule. It has been a very hard but very satisfying change.

Here is how this came about...
Tim and I decided to visit the Vitamin Shoppe because I was getting low on prenatal vitamins (which I've been on for about 7 months now...obviously they don't help to get you pregnant...haha) and while we were there we started talking to the guy who works there and he was telling us about his and his wife's journey about trying to get pregnant. Apparantly they had tried for 2.5 years and he started doing some research about vitamins and all natural things to do that would help with infertility. He found that Iron/Copper supplements have a high rate of helping in that area. He said after he started taking them, his wife was pregnant 1 month later. Sounds too good to be true...so we decided to do our own research and we found that yes, if you google Iron/Copper supplements, there are a lot of websites that talk about infertility. So we decided what the heck? Also we found out that day that the prenatal vitamins I was own were not only insufficient but that they lacked all the nutrients that I really needed. So we bought a higher quality one that I also use as my multi-vitamin. Sooo glad we went there that day. Anyways, after doing so much research we learned that a LOT of the stuff we were eating were not benefiting us in a way that could promote to a healthy pregnancy. SO we threw out all our chips, cookies, tea bags, and frozen pizzas...and went to the grocery store. We stocked up on tons of fruits, veggies, and chicken, chicken, chicken...we now drink green tea, use Truvia (which is amazing and all natural) and splenda as sugar.

Believe me when I say this....You are what you Eat!! We've only been doing this for 2 weeks and already I feel so much better. I can honestly say it is a Lifestyle Change.

Hopefully (if I'm not pregnant by the summer) I'll look amazing in a bikini!

(as far as getting pregnant...we've definitly stopped taking ovulating tests and tracking each and every month. if its meant to be it will be...otherwise we'll adopt. we know God has a plan...we just have to be the healthiest we can be in the process)

new start

So I started getting some really strange emails...and decided it's time to keep my blog private.

Where to start:
I found out on Thurs that the girl I work with ended up having a tubal pregnancy so she lost the baby.

No signs of pregnancy for Tim and I yet. But you will definately hear about it when it happens. :o)

I don't really have much updates. Tim and I went bowling last night, and had so much fun! Even though I had to work today, this weekend has been pretty good so far.

catching up...

Tonight was fun! We were going to go to the Ice Flyers game with The Pitts, but opted out when we went to the dog park and my toes about froze off. We then made the decision to stay home next to the fire. (Our favorite Place) Well, I'm glad we did. I got a call from my friend Sarah and her and her husband wanted to come over and hang out with us. So they did and it was so fun! We just ate pizza, played some wii, and drank some coffee. I just love them! They have a 4 year old and she is just so cute. Hopefully we'll hang out more often and soon!

We will start our next cycle of Clomid on Wednesday. We're very optimistic about this month. But then again, you have to be when you are trying. If there is one thing that I've learned it's that you can not stress. So I refuse to stress!

Update on my friend Amanda...she did have to blood tests that confirmed she was pregnant, but keep her in your prayers. She started bleeding on Friday and really is worried that she may be in the early stages of a miscarriage. She has an ultrasound on Monday so hopefully everything will be ok.

Other than that...not much going on. Just trying to stay warm.

brrr..it is COLD outside.

so today was a good day. My friend Amanda (the one who I work with that's been trying for 1 year to get pregnant) found out today that she is indeed pregnant! Woohoo!!! I'm so excited for her. I know what it feels like to want something so bad. She also had a miscarriage while on clomid so she knows the feeling of heartbreak. So that's 1 friend down, 2 to go (and me of course.) We're all praying for each other though so I'm sure we'll get our gifts soon.

Other than that, I really have no new news. I went to Biloxi with my mom yesterday for her birthday and we didn't win a stinkin thing. Well, we did, but ended up putting it back in the machine. Stupid Poppitt penny machine! ;)

Tomorrow's Thursday! 2 more days of work then another weekend off! yay!

1 Decade...

So apparantly everyone's been talking about what they've accomplished this decade, Here's my list:

A: Graduated High School- go Aggies c/o 2001!
B: Attempted College - who knows...maybe one day I'll finish.
C: dated a bunch of loser boyfriends and kissed a lot of frogs-I knew God would let the right man cut into our dance soon and boy was I right
D: realized that sometimes you just have to be true to yourself and that those who don't like it will fall out of the picture.-and to move on when that happens.
E: met Tim-(who knew he'd be a boy from my past that I secretly crushed on since middle school)
F: Listened to Tim tell me he loved me (first)- and actually said it back.
G: Got Engaged
H: Planned (and payed for) a Wedding
I: Bought a house!
J: Got Married! -best day ever!
K: bought 2 babies (simon and paisley are my hearts)
L: Had the Best First Year of marriage!
M: Experienced heartbreak like no other when we miscarried with our first pregnancy
N: and now....hopefully God will grant us the ultimate blessing in the year to come!

Now for my list of things that have happened just this year! :)

January- We had just gotten married so our babies were 5 months old. All our friends went to Senior Bowl, but we couldn't imagine leaving our babies at home so we decided to stay home. My first year missing in 9 years. It was worth it though. I love being with Tim and the pups! I also started my job at Navy Federal in October (Tim started there in Dec) so we were both getting settled there too.

Febrary-Our first Valentines Day as a Married Couple. Its funny- I can't even remember what we did. I think Tim cooked us steaks on the grill. o'well.

March-this was a rough month. I began to HATE my job...and I mean HATE. I started getting anxiety attacks, was diagnosed again with High Blood Pressure. Spent 1 night in the ER with fast heart rate, shaking, and anxiety. And even thought about quitting my job, going back to school, and working part time. We realized REAL Quick that this was not going to happen

April-My friend Tori started working at NFCU, and we ended up getting on the same team and sat side by side, so my days at work started to slowly get a little better.

May-Tim started to paint the house. (which took 6 months) I got an earlier shift at work! We celebrated our first wedding together as a married couple when our friends Tori and Craig got married.

June-umm...well....not much happened this month, because I can't think of anything fun to write. Oh---my best friend started dating..but I'm not sure which month this happened. I just know it was during the summer.

July- we decided it was time to add a little one in the mix. We began trying for babies this month. I also quit smoking & Drinking this month. I didn't think I would ever live without nicoteine but it has been the BEST thing I've done for my body. It's hard sometimes when we're out with a big crowd and everyone is drinking and smoking but I've yet to give in. -this is why we RARELY go out.

August-nothing major

September-decided it was time to visit the doctor and just make sure everything was working properly. We had some tests ran and found out that I don't ovulate naturally so the doctor started us on clomid. We decided to wait until after our honeymoon to start on it. (which was on the 6th.) We (including to labradors) went to Tampa for Seaworld and Busch Gardens. SO much fun! The dog's even had fun!

October-Officially our first month of clomid-I did ovulate so this meant the clomid worked, but no signs of a baby yet. My brother turned 21!

November-We watched 2 girls deliver beautiful baby boys. Finally some babies sorda in the family. ;) Tim finished painting the house!

December-wow- december! I got pregnant, but Jesus decided he wanted the baby more in heaven with him. Luckily I wasn't far enough along to experience getting too attached, but it was still painful. I even experienced the painful bleeding part of it. BUT, it's really ok. I survived! My grandmother announced that she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and that she refused chemotherapy. So in the middle of my miscarriage, my grandmother also suffered with pain from cancer. It was definitly a hard month.

One that we learned alot from. I learned that family is number one. I Finally learned to forgive my father and spent a lot of time with him. I learned that we want a baby more than anything but that GOD is in control and will decide when we are ready. I learned to let God lead and now we are dancing much smoother. I am so much more in love with my husband than I was this time last year and can now see that love is greater than all! I love him more than life itself.

I am so excited about this year! I have some of the best friends and support system for this wonderful journey. I never thought God would let me experience this sometimes stressful journey with someone going through the same thing, but he does provide. Not only do I have 1 but I have 3! And while I am praying and wishing the best for these girls, I know that they are doing the same for me! It's a wonderful feeling to know I'm not alone. \m

when 1 door closes another opens right up...

While I'm very sad to see my grandmother go, I am very excited to see where this new journey takes my relationship with my dad. I went over to see him last night, (he's currently in town staying at my mom's house-she lives with her boyfriend) :) Anyways...

Tim and I went over there for dinner. My dad makes killer chili and it's the only kind I'll eat. So while eating dinner we just reminisced about old times and laughed so much it hurt. We are going over there again tonight for new years eve and then again for dinner tomorrow. He lives in Panama City so I want to spend as much time with him as I can while he's here. Especially with the given circumstances. I must say, we actually had a great time last night. I'm looking forward to starting our relationship over.

On another positive note, I have a friend at work who goes to the same OBGYN as I and she's been trying to get pregnant for the past year. (wow...I would go nuts) Anyways, she also had a miscarriage while on clomid and is not going through fertility treatments. Her and her husband decided to take a month off the medication b/c of financial reasons. (it gets expensive-believe me) WELL...she took 2 pregnancy tests yesterday and today and both were positive...so here's a quick prayer that those tests were actually right. It's hard to trust them when they have failed you before. :) but what a wonderful new years eve gift that would be.

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL NEW YEARS and may the NEW YEAR bring endless happiness and wonderful things!

"May be surrounded by a million people I still feel all alone, I just wanna go home"

we got the call today...my grandmother passed away in her sleep last night. While my heart is heavy and very saddened, I know she is in heaven with her momma...the one place she couldn't wait to go. She was a very Godly woman and I looked up to her so. Many memories were spent as a child at their home in Milton. My papa had a chicken farm and every morning when I would stay there we would go get eggs, feed the chickens, and even break a few eggs on the way back. I would then come in and my Granny would put me in the tub wash me down and then afterwards spread all different lotions and powders all over my body to make me smell good. I can still to this day remember standing on the tub and the smell of the lotion she used. Sometimes I'll catch a smell of it in the air and it will take me back. I can remember going on many trips to Munson pool, the park on Munson Hwy-(and even remember breaking my arm there), and many many trips to Hardees for my Jelly Biscuit.

I feel so much sorrow...but even more for my dad. We haven't spent much time together in the past few years and I long to be back to a point where me and dad are close again. I want my children to have a grandfather in their life so that they can have the same memories that I've had.

I plan on getting together with my dad tonight for the first time since before my wedding over a year ago. Hopefully this will put us back on track.

So I was googling (if that's a word) and came across this wonderful website. It's amazing how God can put at your fingertips exactly what you need at the exact moment.

Here is the website: http://www.crosswalk.com/marriage/11608040

I promise...this article had so many good points that I needed to hear. One of my favorites: "It can be disheartening when you see other woman get pregnant around you, especially those who aren't married and don't want a baby. The devil will send fleeting thoughts your way like "why is it that I am serving God and can't get pregnant while so many teenagers and people who aren't serving God are having babies!" Sometimes it seems that people who aren't doing things God's way are better off, but in the end they are not and we need to reject these negative thoughts. The only thing you can control is yourself and what you focus on and think about. The verse tells us to be still in God and wait patiently. It doesn't tell us to worry and make things happen on our own."
I know a couple girls that are much younger than I who had little boys a couple months ago, and everytime I see those gorgeous babies I can't help but get jealous, but this article really made me see the light. I realize now that it's not healthy for me to think this way. Well I always knew that but now, hopefully it will stick. I have to make my body as healthy as possible and that includes the negative thoughts I sometimes have.
Another part of the article says: Sometimes it feels overwhelming to want something so badly and yet have to wait so long for it. Yet, everyday God gives us the strength to make it through another day. " The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow temptation to be more than you can stand." 1 Cor 10:13" This is also so true for Tim and I. We keep reminding ourselves that God does not put us through what we can not stand. I know I may not fully understand it now...but one day when I'm looking into they eyes of my beautiful son or daughter I will truly see the light.

My Grandmother is currently in Hospice with Cancer eating her away and the last time I saw her, she asked me if we were going to get pregnant before she died. And then she said, "trust me, when I get to heaven, I will make sure I talk to the Angels and put a precious baby inside that belly of yours" It was the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

Happy Birthday to me...

My birthday was on Sunday...Tim is the sweetest husband ever. Not because he did anything super sweet but just because he is...well...just because. We went to breakfast at whataburger (not the healthiest but my favorite) and then to my cousins for lunch. The majority of the morning was spent relaxing, playing on my new laptop, and jamming out to 50 cent "In Da Club" haha. After lunch we hit the mall...we went shopping until about 6:00 then came home to the puppies. We shopped for quite some time and I didn't hear one complaint out of Tim. He just kept asking me "where to now" so sweet.

The baby thing...well...we're still trying. I don't think I ovulated this month. Mainly because I wasn't on clomid, but we'll start back on it next month. We knew we were taking that chance when the time came this month to start on it and we didn't. We just had that feeling that we were pregnant and didn't want to harm our baby. So it really doesn't matter to us that we missed 1 month.

I got a text from my friend today that she found out at the doctor today, she has signs of endometriosis. My prayers are definitely with her and her husband tonight. I kinda wish my doctor would've done more research/tests before he put me on Clomid, but I just have to remember that God has plans and I have trust in him.

I received an email today and there was something in it that really hit hard. It said that when we finally do have our own little one, while everyone else is complaining about being up at 3am with a screaming kid, we will cherish it because of how bad we want one now. I find this to be very true. I know a couple girls who have babies and while I'm (a tad) jealous, there are times when I hear things they say about being tired and wish so bad for that. I want to have black circles under my eyes from being up all night, I want to have spit up on my clothes, (gross I know). More than anything I want to see my little one's hand wrapped tightly around Tim's finger. Sometimes it's hard to not feel like a failure because you're a woman and you are supposed to have children. The one thing God made for us to do and I can't even do that right. But God is good and I know he will provide.

I'm so thankful I have a friend I can talk to about all this. Most of my friends are not ready for kids and really have no idea what I'm going through but it's nice to have someone I can share my experience with-other than Tim of course. Someone who really knows. So to that person...Thank you!

Merry Christmas

Well we got pregnant a little over 2 weeks ago and come to find out I miscarried. The doc said it was too early to be worried about anything though, so we can continue trying this month. It was definately a sock in the stomach when I found out that the blood test came back negative. But we're keeping our hopes up. Tim let me open my present on Christmas Eve (tonight) and it was a laptop! SO SURPRISED. I've never had one before so it was the best gift...other than my engagement ring of course. And then I opened the next box and it was a wireless modem. Let me just tell you my excitement. I thought I was important when he bought me a new phone a few weeks ago with internet on it. Now I can actually see what I'm doing on a full size computer screen. This means we can actually start sharing our pictures. I'm BEYOND excited!

wow...its been a long time!

So its been over a year since my last post and a lot has happened! I'll run down the list: we painted our house (tan) so no more red. That took tim a while because he rolled the whole thing. He refused to spray.Our puppies reached 1 years old. And they each weigh about 60-70 pounds. They still think their little though. We celebrated our 1 year anniversary. We loaded up the pups and went to tampa for sea world and busch gardens. Both parks had a place where we could take the dogs while we had fun in the park. We just couldn't bear to leave them here. We've both been at Navy Federal for a year and it's slowly getting better. There are days when I hate it thoguh. And...the biggest news, Tim and I are trying to have a baby. We've been trying for about 6 months. I found out 2 months ago that I don't ovulate so the doc has us on the lowest dose of clomid, hopefully we'll have some good news very soon. Its definately been stressful. Everyone says to relax and let it happen, but it's so hard when nothing is happening. I know that God has a plan though. I have probably googled everything there is to know about clomid, signs and symptoms of pregnancy, and what to eat/drink when trying. I know its silly but I'm so ready to be a mommy. Anywho...that's about all. I'll post pictures of everything soon.

Fireproof

Last night Tim, Carrie, Tori and I went and saw the new movie Fireproof. Totally EXCEEDED my expectations. I must admit it was hard for me to take Kirk Cameron seriously after watching him for years as a heartthrob on growing pains and then making a guest appearance on Full House as the "cool older Cousin." (yes....I was a fan as a child) and so you know...he will be at Marcus Point in December, and I plan on attending! :) Anyways...back to the movie...
I...the emotional basket case that I am...was crying probably before the movie even really started. It just took me back to my parents divorce and, now that I'm older, I understand more and can see just how hard it was for them. Especially now that I'm married myself. (even if I've only been married a month) For me...back then...I would lay in bed every night and PRAY that God would allow them to divorce. I was so tired of the constant yelling, fighting and screaming. I was tired of carrying my little brother out of the house and driving around town so he could get some sleep in before school the next morning. I know it was wrong of me to pray this way, but I was young and had no clue how serious marriage is...until I became married myself. There is a part in the movie where kirk's dad tells him, "marriage isn't about feelings, it's a decision." That was one of the things that Darren (my preacher) told us over and over and over in our marriage counseling. It's not the only thing, but it's a major thing that has stuck with me. I believe that with my whole heart. Sure...Marriage is hard. Sure...at times, one if not both people will want out. But this is a decision that is made in front of God, Family, and close friends. This is a decision that you stick with...for better and for worse right?! Those are the vows you make right? I'm not sure many of you know..but Tim and I wanted our marriage to be different..to be special...we wanted our vows to be sacred, our own, and to be something to us, that in our Hard times, we could be reminded of what we said to each other and how important it was at that time in our lives that we were together. Here's a copy of my vows...if I had Tim's I'd post his too...


I Brandi take you my Tim to be my husband. I give you myself and take you as mine; this will never change from this moment in time. Years will pass by and we will grow old, but I will always love you, no matter what in life may come. Life may come easy or hard and seasons will change, but together we will look up because our Jesus Reigns. Rain will fall down, the sun will shine bright, and through hot summer days and cold winter nights, when autumn leaves fall down and spring flowers cover the ground, I will love only one more than you. My Jesus is number one and my Tim is number two. I promise to love through sick and health, week and old, among family and friends, when our babies are young and our children have grown, to leaving home with kids of their own. My Tim you are the love of my life, through wealth and abundance or just scraping by let’s remember to put our faith in Jesus Most High. I promise through all things in life, that today I take you as my Husband and I will be your wife.

I truly believe that in 50 years from now, I will be able to look at these vows and remember that when I was 25, I wrote these for the man I will spend the rest of my life with, no matter what my "feelings"are. We made this decision together and with our Faith in God, we will stay together forever!

to Blessed to be Stressed...

Due to the economy being so sucky right now, last week I was layed off from my job. It was the most horrible thing for anyone to go through. To even think for a second that your mortgage may not be payed is the most difficult thing I think. I left work afterwards because well...I was WAY to upset to stay there and finish out the day. I called Tim on the way home and cried and cried and cried...and he simply said, "baby it will be ok, we'll figure something out"
Well that day he ran into someone who works for Navy Federal (Tim works for Greenhut who is building the big branch on Nine Mile, so he knows practically everyone out there) Anyways...he said for Tim to bring in my resume the next day and he will get me an interview. It's amazing how God works...Here I am, I've been trying to get job with Navy Federal for about 2 years now, filling out numerous online applications, watching all my friends get hired on...and then BAM! Right when I'm needing a job the most, the opportunity becomes available. They called me that same day and I had an interview 2 day's later. The night of my interview, I was offered the job. Which is $2 more an hour than I was making! SO in one week, I lost my job, but gained one much better! God is SO GOOD!!!

new pictures

So I finally have some professional pictures to put up....since I've already posted a million pictures, I'll only post a few more. (in no particular order)

Time to tell the story...

Finally time to tell MY wedding story....*deep breath*...and here goes.

Let me start by saying that our wedding from the very beginning was going to be the most cost efficient yet fun wedding of all time! We knew what we wanted and what we had to spend...which ended up being around $2000, and everything started to fall into place. I found my dress at David's Bridal 2 day's after we got engaged. The dress ended up being $230 total. It was the first dress I picked out, the first one I tried on and it fit perfect. I didn't need any alterations whatsoever on it.

I guess the wedding stress really started on the Wednesday before my wedding. I took a half day off work because this was the day I had arranged for my flowers to arrive. I ordered wholesale flowers and decided to attempt to make the bouquets myself. Anyways...I arrived home around 11:30 or so and there were my flowers, lying on my front porch. Needless to say 168 flowers come in a HUGE box. SO I do what most girls do, I dropped my stuff inside the front door and dragged the box into my house. When I opened the box, I could NOT believe my eyes. Inside were probably the most beautiful flowers I'd ever seen in my life. Not only were they gorgeous, but they were still alive! I immediately started panicking...I had not imagined that the flowers would be as big as they were...so now I had nothing to put them in to preserve them. Tim made something to go over our bathtub the night before for me, which would've been perfect and worked for 2 of the boxes of flowers...but I still had 2 huge boxes left. Anyways...my mom came to the rescue with about 8 5 gallon buckets and she helped me trim the flowers and put them in water. I was incredibly worried all night about those stinkin flowers because Tim does not like our thermostat to be below 78 F. Our house that week reached a record 73...great I know!
The next night was my "bachelorette party." We (the girls in my party) and mine and Tim's mom met at the Oar House for dinner which is my all time favorite restaurant and enjoyed some miller lites, and fried pickles. After dinner we came back to my house, where I opened some presents full of lengerie and drank some wine. When that was done...we started on our bouquets. We were sooo impressed with how WONDERFUL they turned out! (if you ever need a florist...you can now call me and carrie...we will come to the rescue) haha! But seriously...I LOVED my flowers. We added the ribbon the next day...so ignore the lack of ribbon around the stems.
Friday I took the day off work. I took the girls in my party out and we all got pedicures and a couple of us got our nails done. It was so nice to sit in there and just gossip, laugh, and catch up on each other's lives. I realized after those couple day's that I have got some of the best girlfriends ever. Even if we don't see each other often enough, everytime we get together, it's like no time has passed. Friday Night we headed out to the park for our Rehearsal which ended up being different than we expected because our pavillion was having another wedding so picked a spot down by the water and improved. It turned out great! After the rehearsal and the wonderful dinner at Triggers restaurant, we went to Carries and worked on Boutonnieres. (sp?) It was fun to sit around a table with some great girls, and laugh as we figured out exactly what they are supposed to look like. We conquered those too!

Saturday, I woke up around 5:30 I think with about a million things running through my head...I'm not sure if I was nervous yet...but definately thinking that I would forget something. When Carrie rolled over and realized I was awake that early, she thought I was crazy...but I just talked her little head off until she woke up and kept me company. :) My mom arrived around 7:00 with Tyler (my brother) and Chasitie (his girlfriend) She was a HUGE help in getting us all ready. She's amazing with makeup and really helped alot in the hair department. After Carrie finished up...I seriously thought I would cry...she looked AMAZING. I almost thought for a second we were going to HER wedding. :) We left Carrie's around 9:30 or so, and headed to my preacher's house. Which is where the rest of my side of the wedding party met us to finish getting ready. They live approx. 10 minutes from Big Lagoon, and have a huge house, so it worked out great!
Arriving at the site...I started to FINALLY get nervous. Not that it was a bad thing. I've just never had wedding jitters before. To finally feel my heart speed racing was the best feeling ever. When Tyler came to get me at game time...I just started to smile. I don't think that smile left my face the whole time. (even when I almost tripped on my dress going up the steps) yes I'm a clutz. When I saw Tim at the other end of the aisle....I knew that God had answered all my prayers. I just let out the huge sigh of relief...all was done. I knew that this was the moment I had been stressing over the past 9 months...if anything went wrong now, then I wouldn't be able to prevent it. I could finally ENJOY my wedding. When Tyler and I arrived at the alter and he handed me off to my future husband, I started crying. To be honest, I'm surprised I didn't start crying that morning. But tears just started falling. My preacher Darren (my friend) is such an amazing person. The words he said to describe mine and Tim's relationship was the best words I've ever heard. He knows us so well, that he could just speak and the right words flowed from him. The way he said that we were built for each other.That we were made for each other in order to help each other grow stronger, to grow more christlike, to raise a family in the church. God knew what he was doing...as he always has and always will. Tim and I decided to write our own vows (which is something our preacher has never let anyone do) when Darren held up our vows for us to read to each other, there was such peace as I read my words to him. I knew that what we were saying to each other truly comes from God. We know that we will mess up, that there will be times when we just simply won't get along...but we will look up to God for strength, direction, guidence, and with that, our marriage will prevail. I'm so lucky...(and so is Tim).

Looking back at the wedding and describing to others what the day was like, I tell them:
I really don't remember much...I didn't get to speak to very many people at the wedding...I couldn't tell you who all was there...Heck even my dad and his side of the family left before the reception began. But what I remember is this...I shared a dance with the one person God made for me with all my friends and family members smiling and taking pictures. I shared a day with my best girlfriends that mean more than the world to me. I saw a friend who I hadn't seen in years and when we hugged, I could feel God smiling (he knew I wanted her there.) My DJ was a youth pastor I had when I was younger and just him being there was amazing, but the fact that he DJ'd my wedding for FREE was a blessing in and of itself. My photographer was a friend of a friend who is trying to get into the photography business and needed pictures for his portolio...let me tell you...he was EVERYWHERE taking pictures of everything and everyone (also for FREE.) It was HOT...but the breeze felt great! The day was beautiful without a cloud in the sky.
Even though there were people there to ruin my day (and even tried with their snotty comments), and the food ran out before my wedding party could eat (which is what happens when people don't RSVP), and even though the daquiri machines were low and the alcohol ran out (besides the champagne which was strictly for the wedding party)...I can honestly say that was the best wedding I've been to. Not because it was mine. But because we ...in the process of paying for our wedding, bought a home, had money for a honeymoon, did not take out a loan, and even had money to buy our newest babies when we got back, we did the whole thing ourselves. I handmade the fans/programs, I handmade all the invitations, the flowers were made at my home, our ringbearer carried a conch shell for the rings and our flower girls carried seashell windchimes that I made. I am so incredibly glad that I did all this. It made the experience mean so much to everyone involved.
We can go to bed at night without a doubt in our minds that God was with us on our day.
I'm so blessed.

Meet...

SIMON AND PAISLEY....

(but ignore the sleepyheads...we were TIRED from staying up all night with the pups. )

these are our new puppies...they are 8 week's old as of yesterday and are a HANDFUL! They are both Chocolate labs and are brother and sister. We love them so much already!

You can call me Mrs Hadden

I'm Married! AND....we have 2 new additions to our little family. I will post pictures of our babies as soon as I find my camera cord.

Here's some pictures from the wedding though...

The wedding party!

First dance...

finally husband and wife...
kissing the bride...
cake smashers...
getting dressed...
I'll hopefully have tons more REAL soon! :)