I wanted to post more pictures from this weekend!!!

she's strong....pushes on...

This weekend was sooo much fun!! Weekends like this make me realize that everything is going to be A-OK. Me and Tim had a Very Relaxing weekend with a little bit of music and a LOT of sausage. We started on Friday and went to the sausage festival of course to see some Taylor Swift. I bought her cd a few weeks ago...so I was excited to see her. And minus all her stories before every song...I thought she was fun! We went from there to the ticket...which we had so much fun at! I love when there is a group of us hanging out. It's always so much more fun than when it's just 2 or 3 of us. I got everyone hooked on the ring game. If you haven't played it...you should. It was so much fun making fun of how serious people got playing it. haha...just thinking about it makes me smile. I ended up drinking a little tooo much so we left earlier than everyone else. Saturday we woke up early (7:30) and went to my cousin's house for her yard sale. Which I got the cutest Easter dress from her and then stole her entertainment center. She's the one moving to Daytona in a few weeks. I'm going to miss her so much. But I can't wait to party with her down there and me and Tim will be going to all the Nascar races so I'm real Excited about that!! We went over there in shorts and sweater's...bad idea...so we left from there and went straight home to put on some jeans b/c it was COLD! We then left from home and went straight to the sausage festival with our chairs and blankets to hold spots for our group. I was REAL excited to see Craig Morgan. I've seen him a few times and he is SOOOO much fun!! We got out there around 1:30 and stayed for both shows...so we ate a LOT of sausage and drank plenty of beer! We left around 10:15 or so. Went home and crashed!! I was soo tired from our long day. On sunday it was my first day as Children's Director. Well I was supposed to be shadowing until April 1st, but I was semi-on my own since the other girl was out of town. It was fun though. One of the parents went with me to children's church and I got to sit and talk with her for 30 minutes and get her view on the children's program. She gave me a LOT of input on I really got a chance to see what the parents want and hope from the program. So I'm really excited to try and meet or even succeed their expectations. I am so ready to work hard and help this program grow! I just loooovvvee children!!! After church, we went to monterey's..duh! And then I went home to cut the grass and help mom in the yard while Tim watched the Race. Then I went to my friend's little girls' birthday party! Angie (my friend) has 2 little girls...it was Ashley's party (turned3) and her other little one is Danielle (who's 2). They both Love Aunt Brandi! and I love them so much!! It's always a pleasure to spend time with these 2 girls. Me and Angie have known each other since around 3rd grade so we go way back. :)

new camera = me doing no work.

I got a new camera almost a week ago and I finally figured out some of the features on it...well...some of my favorite features anyways.

This is one of my favorite features.

Here is just a cup of pens on my desk...

this is another favorite

<--before

after -->
notice how much tanner we are..haha!

by the way...the last pic was taken around 10:00 when we were laying in bed...and my room was pitch black. All this light is from the flash!! I'm soooo glad I finally found a camera that is decent. Now I just hope it takes good pictures at concerts. *fingers crossed*

I still have 2 weeks to return it if I don't like it...and the Beulah Sausage Festival is this weekend! woohoo!!

"I don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking"

I got the Children's Directors Job at church and I'm sooo excited about it!!! My preacher called me on Saturday to tell me that my interview went so well, it was a unanimous decision across the board. I'm really excited/anxious to see what happens with this wonderful opportunity. I know that I will grow from this as much if not more than the kids and that in itself is a wonderful feeling. It's a part-time position so I'm able to keep my full time job. I've definately been praying so hard about this and basically leaving the decision up to God. It feels good to let him deal with all my troubles. It's hard...don't get me wrong. And it's taken a while for me to realize that this is OK, that I can not deal with it all. But after a LONG talk with my preacher a couple weeks ago...I came to the realization that God is here for a reason. He wants us to lean on him. He wants us to depend on him and to cling to him. So when I finally do...oh my...it feels wonderful.


ps. I'm starting back at school this summer. will be done by May of next year and will then take the teacher certification test. HOPEFULLY...(fingers crossed) I will be an elementary teacher within the next couple years. things are falling into place...finally!

two horses

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing. If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her. As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting, that she will not lead him astray. When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.



Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need. Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see. Good friends are like this.


You don't always see them, but you know they are always there. Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.


"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle".

"So if all of these trials bring me closer to You, I will go through the valley, if You want me too"

So a LOT has been going on lately. As many of you know...but here's what keeps me going. The reason I wake up in the morning. The reason I keep pushing on to face a new day.

♥ Tim brushing my hair back to kiss me goodbye in the morning
♥ my mom telling me that I am the Interior Decorator of the family and I get to pick out wall color and accessories for the house
♥ my brother saying "Thank You" after wiping the sauce off his mouth from the pizza I ordered for dinner
♥ my dog rolling over on his back in bed with his head on the pillow as if to say "I'm just like you, mom"
♥ After one of my customers has asked me if I've "Put on some weight", hearing Tim get so upset and even swearing he's gonna find this guy and tell him like it is [even though I know secretly he's all talk... :) ]
♥ Listening to Ginny Owens over and over and over again until my co-workers ask me if that's ALL I listen too...it puts a smile on my face.
♥ looking at the pictures on my desk and knowing that I am loved everyday
♥ Tim scraping wall-paper at my house
♥ being thankful when times are so hard, you forget to be thankful for simple things

"ok....I'm praying..help me out guys"

so my brother got in a wreck last night...


in my mom's new car. It's totalled...and she doesn't have full coverage. He hit a tree...he's ok though.

daily seed

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes
on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie
empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the
cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be
joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign LORD is my
strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me
safely over the mountains. (For the choir director: This prayer is
to be accompanied by stringed instruments.) (Hab 3:17-19 NLT)

Prayer: LORD, when the things around me do not seem to prosper,
even if they look lifeless, especially then, help me turn my heart
to You in praise and thanksgiving for what I have in my
relationship
with You. Happiness may be circumstantial, but joy is a choice. I
choose to praise You and allow You to be the strength of my life
that transcends circumstances. That strength can enable me to go
above difficulties, challenges, and anything that would try to keep
me from reaching the mountaintop of joy in You. Thank You for the
many ways You are so good to me! In Jesus' name, Amen.

"he's the reason I keep wishing on a wishing star"

I'm so tired of people walking on eggshells around me. Granted, I have been edgy. And it doesn't take much for me to blow up. My mom called this guy I work with last week and told him, "be nice to brandi, she's going through a lot." Seriously mom...I'm grown. I can take care of myself. I know that people handle stress different than others. And I've always been that happy go lucky person that doesn't let stress get to me...I go with the flow...pray when I'm feeling down....pick myself up and get on with my life. This time, it's just so hard. I'll have a good day (which lasts for brief moments only) and then get swallowed back into my real life. The life where I am taken for granted. where I am run over. the life that I feel like I don't deserve... but then feel guilty b/c there are so many other's out there that have it so much worse than me. I had a guy come into my work last week and noticed that I wasn't acting myself and simply told me that I have so many reasons to smile and be happy. That I could walk, breathe, live..so many other's do not get that chance at life. Yet...why do I feel so miserable all the time? Why do I let the actions of other's bother me so bad? I mean..should I really care what my brother does with his life? or that my mom is never home to take care of her son? I really feel guilty at times because I know she has to make herself happy. But is that ok? I mean should she be allowed to be happy when her children are falling apart? ugh. I just want to take a break. a vacation from life. I want to drive until I can no longer hear my thoughts. If that makes sense. And you ask why am I being such a baby? why am I spilling out my thoughts online for the world to see? well here's why...

After I had started dating Tim, we were talking one day and the mention of marijuana came into the conversation. Well..he tried to tell me that he didn't see the big deal in it, that even he did it every now and then. This is where I told him that I disagreed with it, and if he wanted to stay with me, he would quit. See..I've seen the affects it can do on a family. I have many family members in jail b/c of this stupid stupid thing. Well he said that I was much more important that something stupid like that and so he quit...cold turkey. He dropped it just like that. Great! Now pay attention...this is where it may get complicated. About 1 or 2 months after this...I was on my way to the beach with his mom and she came out and told me that her and Tim's stepdad both smoke pot. Weird? Yes! I didn't know what to say. Here I had met this great guy who's family I loved ..and then I hear this. See I was fixing to go on the boat with them for the air show and she wanted to warn me that they would be doing this on the boat. . I was furious..but didn't want her to know this. I mean what do you say to your boyfriends mom?
Well...about 2 months later...after a few big fights with my brother...he admitted to using drugs. We had suspicions. His attitude had changed drastically, he slept all day, and would sneak out of the house at night and then stumble back in at 4 or 5 in the morning. Granted...he's a teenager, they're going to try things. Well, his coach found out and told him that if he wanted a career in basketball that he would have to quit. He said at the end of the year there would be a drug test held and all the boys were going to get tested. Needless to say..that hasn't happened yet. And my brother is still using. He has said that he quit...but I walked in one night and over heard him and his friends doing it. I guess he didn't realize I was home. That was the night that I hit rock bottom.
The problem all started when I moved out the first time. Well it started before I moved out, I was just too dumb to see it happening right in front of my eyes. My mom was never home. Even less than she is now. She would go to her boyfriends house after work and stay the night probably 5 nights out of the week, only returning home to get clothes. When I moved out, Tyler came into work one day (he worked part time at my job over the summer) and his eyes were so bloodshot, you couldn't see any white part of his eye. That same day, I caught him sleeping in the break room and asked him why he was so tired. He said he wasn't and jumped up and went out into our warehouse...where he fell asleep again. That's when I realized that something was going on. I called mom and she explained to me that she hadn't been home the night before but apparantly Tyler called her and told her he was home early. That's when the lying started.
Here is a 24 year old...who lives at home to help with finances so her brother can play basketball and not have a job. I also make about $60 more every payday than my mom does. I pay for the whole family's cell phone bill each month, which at times can reach over $300. I pay half the utilities and give my mom "rent money" each month. I have a car payment, a couple loans, and insurance on top of all this. My brother and I get into fights at Least twice a week. Not just arguing fights..but blown out yelling and throwing things fights. He calls me names that I could never call another person. My mom come's home at night only long enough to make sure tyler comes home. then soon after, she leaves. One night last week she actually stayed home and caught tyler sneaking out of his window around midnight. So mom loaded my dog and I up and went around the neighborhood only to find him at his "pot friends" house. Which ended with yet another fight...lasted until 4 am. Now some of you are saying.."welcome to the real world" Trust me..I know.

But I just don't know how much more I can handle.I mean seriously.

woah...weekends

"This weekend was 1 in a million..."I'm sure you've read that before.

This weekend was different. I love all my friends. new and old. and I am IN LOVE with my boyfriend. I'm so lucky to have all these people in my life.

I ♥ you!!!

Here's a recap:

Friday - was in parade, learned that a LOT of people "love me", learned how to make some really good "juice" in a 5 gallon cooler..and that not everyone calls it "hunch punch", drunk old guys are the best to watch...except when they fall...that kinda breaks my heart, saw way to many boobies, (even drawn on boobies), learned the black way to get beads is to say..."hey guh, gi' me some dem beaze" or something like that.

Saturday - slept in till 9ish, ran to tanning bed, then went to mandi's to prepare for the very long night ahead of me, learned that at parades you must watch at all times so that your eyes are not busted out from beads flying at 80380 miles per hour, then went back to mandi's to do more preparation, went to ozone to wait for 12 hours to be seated, only to have to eat a salad with my fingers, then finally making our way to seville after hitting up 2 different ATM's so ashley could empty her account for the night's spending...no...literally, at seville, I learned a lot...but I will just name this one thing-do not start tabs. If you have cash, use that and nothing else, after closing my tab at 2:00 am, I believe it was at $60 but I'm really not even sure about that b/c I don't really remember closing it, I did run into my UPS guy and that was fun, and I ran into a few other people, including the "hey guh...you gots lotz of beaze" guy, that was fun...not!, after stopping multiple times on the way home so I could umm..."see the sights", I made it back and tim came to pick me up from mandi's. (literally) it's ok guys..I didn't drive home. I am semi-responsible and didn't drink and drive.

Sunday -woke up with migraine (who'd a thunk it) and decided it would be best to "rest" I stayed in my PJ's all day and watched the DAYTONA 500* with my hunny, he took care of me, and it was nice. That's why I ♥ him so! I finally went to get my car at 7:30 last night. It was the best day ever. Really made me open my eyes and realize the real reason we're meant for each other. He's my better half...and I'm proud to call him mine. Oh we also watched Flicka and that movie is soooo sweet. You should watch it, if you have not yet.

*side note: my cousin's moving down to Daytona in about a month to work for Nascar so if you are a fan and want good seats...meaning pit passes and the seats that are airconditioned and in the press box...let me know. I now have the ultimate hookup!! :) Not that I care to much...but Tim's the biggest Jr. Fan alive and so he loves me even more now! haha..jk.

depression

• sleep disturbance
• agitation, irritibility or anxiety
• fatigue or slowing of body movements
• low self esteem
• less interest in sex
• depressed mood
• feeling sad, empty, hopeless, or numb
• headaches, back pain, muscle aches, chest pain

I am visiting my doctor in about a week if this doesn't go away. My preacher should be able to help too. My mom told me, at dinner last night, that what I'm feeling could be worse than just anxiety. I could very well be depressed. great.

for now, however, this song may help.

I was coming to the end of a long long walk
When a man crawled out of a cardboard box
Under the E. Street Bridge
Followed me on to it
I went out halfway across
With that homeless shadow tagging along
So I dug for some change
Wouldn't need it anyway
He took it lookin' just a bit ashamed
He said, You know, I haven't always been this way

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that plane ride coming home from the war
That summer my son was born
And memories like a coat so warm
A cold wind can't get through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

I stood there tryin' to find my nerve
Wondering if a single soul on Earth
Would care at all
Miss me when I'm gone
That old man just kept hanging around
Lookin' at me, lookin' down
I think he recognized
That look in my eyes
Standing with him there I felt ashamed
I said, You know, I haven't always felt this way

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like the day I walked away from the wine
For a woman who became my wife
And a love that, when it was right,
Could always see me through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

I know somewhere 'round a trashcan fire tonight
That old man tells his story one more time
He says

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that cool night on the E. Street Bridge
When a young man almost ended it
I was right there, wasn't scared a bit
And I helped to pull him through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
Oh, lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

stolen...from Kristi and Heather..sorry girls

" Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. " - 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

Most of you know this verse. This to me is true love. To not be jealous. To be patient. It's a hard thing to do. But that's love. Love is hard. Love to me is this:

• recieving a phone call from a friend who after calling forgets the real reason she called me in the first place.
• laying in bed and feeling my dog spread out across my legs
• going to work and finding a note my mom had left on my desk that say's "have a great day"
• getting daily God Seed email's from my mom
• knowing that even though me and my dad may talk once every couple months, I know that he loves me
• knowing that I can ask carrie's parents for help anytime and they will drop what their doing to help me as if I was their own
• seeing the smile on my brother's face when he see's me truly laughing about something he has done or said that's funny
• knowing that Tim will always respect me and love me just for me
• waking up in the middle of the night with Tim's arms wrapped tightly around me

just sometimes...

there are people you thought you could trust

good news

So my brother came in my room at 11:30 last night glowing from ear to ear with the exciting news...
He got to play in their district tournament game and...they won!!! So now they go on to the next game on Friday. woo-hoo!!

It was soo great to see him so happy. Made my heart smile.

"face down on the floor..."

I’ve been here a thousand times before...

Face down on the floor

Wondering how I even reached this place again

But you’ve shown so endlessly,

How your love pours over me,

No picture can re-create the beauty that I see

Show me what it means,

To live my life a sacrifice,

If only I would realize how much It took to pay the price,

I know I’d always give,

Everything to you

I want this world to always see

Your perfect majesty,

Reflecting from my life this brilliant poetry

Show me what it means,

To live my life a sacrifice,

If only I would realize how much It took to pay the price,

I know I’d always give,

Everything to you

Written all over this place,

The signs of all creation that you breathed,

Words can’t even state how much you mean to me

I want to face my very crime,

Of not always giving all of mine,

But I can feel the hope you bring to me

These are the words I'm listening to....

My brother's ACL is not torn...nor is it anymore than just a pulled muscle. The stupid doctors were looking at the MRI results from 2005...yeah.

so woohooo!!!

power in prayer is amazing when it happens in your home.

"Ever feel hated by the Man above?"

So my brother had surgery last year on his knee to fix a torn ACL...

his last game on Friday during tip off he started limping real bad and told the coach that he had to come out. Well me and mom were freaking out at this point, not sure what was going on hoping it wasn't his knee. He sat out the rest of the game...which broke my heart to see him so upset. Rested his knee all weekend...then went to the doctor yesterday. The doctor said that he's pretty sure he just tore his miniscus which is minor compared to his acl surgery.

doc calls this morning and say's the MRI came back and he thinks that tyler tore his ACL yet again. Boo!...this weekend has been a weekend from hell (as far as my boyfriend is concerned)(...I had fun with my girls though.) and to add this to the mix. my heart is broken...again.



in response to the title of this blog........yes. I do.

"Do not pass go..do Not collect $200"

So I had to bail Bandit out of "Jail" today. Apparantly he's been getting out of our yard and the people 2 street's over called the pound on him. :( He was so sad when I went to get him today. Made my heart sad. Anyways..so I had to fork up $133 to bail him out...plus $72.00 for a kennel to keep him inside. ugh...money money money. Dog's are expensive!!! but I love him none the less :) And I'm glad I found him there and not dead on the side of the road somewhere.

I have the best boyfriend. ever.

Isn't it funny how you go through life finding out there are going to be people out there that you think you can depend on only to be let down. Well. That's the story of my life. Maybe it's because I wear my heart on my sleeve and let people run me over. Granted. I've become more aware of this in the past year and because of this reason, It's become more and more difficult for me to open up to people. I've learned that you can't always rely on the people you think will always be there for you. However, There are definately people out there that care about me and treat me like family. It's because of these people that I haven't crawled into a hole somewhere and buried myself alive when the storm's were raging.


ps. pray for me.

"There was no denying, I let God down"

There I was ten years old

waitin' in my room for him to come home

and I just knew he'd be so mad

even though I begged my mother not to, she told my dad.

There was no denyin' I let him down

but instead of being angry

he put his arms around me and said

in the sunlight or the rain brightest nights or darkest days

I'll always feel the same way

whatever road you may be on

know your never too far gone my love is there wherever you may be

just remember that you'll always be my baby.

There I was twenty-one

oh I was so ashamed of what I'd done

on a country road parked one night

what started out so innocent

crossed the line

there was no denyin' I let God down

but instead of being angry he let his love surround me and I heard

in the sunlight or the rain brightest nights or darkest days

I'll always feel the same way

whatever road you may be on

know your never too far gone

my love is there wherever you may be

just remember that you'll always be my baby

yeah yeah.

There he is my little man

I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then

and I pray to God that when he does

I'll be just as understanding as my father was

'cause the last thing that I want to do is let him down

so instead of being angry

I'm gonna throw my arms around him and I'll say

in the sunlight or the rain brightest nights or darkest days

I'll always feel the same way yeah whatever road you may be on

know your never too far gone my love is there wherever you may be

just remember that you'll always be my baby

be my baby

There are only a few songs out there that really hit me hard...and this is definately one of them. From the whole Dad part to the God part. I tear up everytime I hear this. I recieved a birthday card from my dad today in the mail and it seems that he always knows exactly what to say to make me feel guilty about something that has happened. All his cards say the same. "Sorry for not being a better dad, for not giving you what you may need, for not being rich. Sorry for letting you down, but I'll always love you..." I mean am I being the bitch here? Should I give him a 847th chance or should I just shake my head and walk away. Sometimes I'm so confused about what to do. I feel bad that he blaims her for how mine and his relationship has ended up, but she know's it's not her fault. She understands. I just wish I could show him how harsh he is sometimes. Even though it's a losing battle. The threats are more than I can take at times. And I take my anger out on those around me...when really it's killing me more than I can say. I listen to sappy music over and over until it's replaying itself in my dreams.

He get's angry that I push him away. She get's angry that I won't open up. And my blood...geez that's a whole different story. I can't even look at him these days. The drugs have taken over. Not drugs. But his "Friends". I'm so confused. I just want to walk away from it all. I want to wake up one day and find myself walking aimlessly down the highway...with luggage in one hand and a thumb raised on the other. But who doesn't? I mean do we all live this fairytale life. We all act like we are perfectly ok...but are we ever really? Or are we just acting. I mean...we all have these parts of our life that we want to lock away and forget existed, but we never really can. It's like a disease. a blood stricken disease that has haunted me my whole life.

"When the lights are down low, and You nibble on my neck..."

Well...If you've read Carrie's blog, then you pretty much have our whole trip outlined already. So..I really have nothing much else to write about. So I'll just post some pictures for your pleasure:



Tim never last's long in the car. He always fall's asleep..but I guess that's one thing we have in common. I can fall asleep on the way home from Mobile.

Who knew sneeking past a "no crossing" sign could be so funny...

These following pictures are from Wannab's...take them as you like. :)

This is Tim acknowledging that he's past drunk. Ha!

Not even Carrie can pull off the "drunken Eye" haha!

(case and point...)

Oh and I fixed this one...it's right now!!! hahaha!!

"I raise my hands...bow my head...I'm finding more and more truth in the words written in Red"

Well...Here's a toast to the New Year rolling in. Last year at this time, I was having a rough time with life. I had many things on my plate I had to deal with and wasn't looking forward to moving on into the future at all. This year however, will be different. I've grown up so much in the past year that I'm excited to welcome in 2007 with a big bang. I was browsing online today, and ran across an article that said "Top Ten New Year's Resolutions" so I clicked on it, simply out of curiousity. Here's what their list said and what I think of it:


1. Spend more time with family and friends. I can understand this. To me, family and friends are the glue that holds us together. We are molded and shaped by our friends and family and that is what has made us who we are today, so why not spend more time with them. This will definately be one that I will add to my list.
2. Fit in Fitness: Ok this is a given...for everyone! :)
3. Tame the Bulge: I thought this was the same as #2. O'well.
4. Quit Smoking: I've already done this. SO Yay for me!!!
5. Enjoy Life More: Who doesn't want to do this??
6. Quit Drinking: What's the fun in this? I guess it's good for those that over indulge, but I like my occasional miller lite, or glass of pinot grigio. o'well.
7. Get Out of Debt: ooh...me me me!!!
8. Learn something new: sure, why not?
9. Help Others: see #8.
10. Get Organized: this is definately one of mine.


Now this list was of course the "normal" resolutions. Here are mine:


1. save save save...(me and Tim do plan on getting married one day)
2. PRAY more...(there reallly is power in Prayer)
3. get organized!! I love this one b/c well...you should just see our house. My mom is a pack rat.
4. Pay off debt...(this I plan to do with my income tax check...I'll let you know how this goes. ha!)
5. Figure out exactly what I want to do when I "grow up"...(I've yet to finish school, and it's about time I make that a priority)


I have so many things to look forward to with the coming year!! The most significant thing is that my Baby brother is Graduating!!! That's crazy! But I'm so excited to see him for the first time on that college basketball court. It's one of his dreams and I'm so excited that he has a chance to live that dream.

Another thing, is My future with Tim. I'm so excited to learn more about him and have a little family with him one day. It's definately a weight off my shoulders to know that he's The One.

Watching my mom and her relationship with Mike blossom, has been a definate high point of this year and I'm real excited to see where this relationship takes her. It's so good to see my mom smile, if you haven't seen it yet, you're missing out. She has the most amazing smile ever!

I'm really excited to get more involved. Next Year I want to be involved with as much of my friends lives (new and old) as I can, I want to get involved with church events, local events, and volunteering. I am ready to become a REAL member of Pensacola. I love this town and I want to experience it!


I hope everyone has a very safe and Happy New Years!! I love you all...and will be thinking about you when I'm jamming out to Brooks and Dunn on Sunday night!!

AAAwhhOOOOO PLAY SOMETHING COUNTRY!!! hahah!

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

I woke up at 5:30 this morning to Tim singing "Happy Birthday" to me. It was the sweetest thing ever. BUT he's making me wait till tonight to get my present. Boo!

Anyways. just wanted to share. Happy Birthday to me!!!

Christmas is over...But I'm not Finished Celebrating!

This Christmas was so bittersweet..but probably the best. I learned so much about so many people and spent Christmas with the one's I love most. Me and my mom had the biggest heart to heart last night and that meant more to me than anything in this entire world. I got some really cool things for Christmas but I had more Joy watching my mom's face light up as she opened her stocking and then all the presents that were found under the tree for her. She was really surprised that she had so many wonderful things that I think I saw her wipe away a tear or two. She has the best boyfriend in the world, for he spent so much money on my brother buying him all sorts of very cool clothes and about 3 pairs of shoes. It was crazy! My mom basically handed me a card all the while apologizing for not being able to afford more. She doesn't quite understand the concept that when you get older, the presents become scarce. She is getting my windows on my car tinted for my Birthday/Christmas present. ((Which I only allow certain people to combine.)) And I now have to apply Carrie to this list. haha! Tim gave me this gorgeous Relic watch that has heart links and a pink face...I love it!! Now I can look forward to that ring next year!! ha!

Rain rain...go away...

If you have not seen the weather report for tomorrow then prepare to be sad. It's supposed to rain all day tomorrow which means We probably won't be having the stinkin bon fire for my party b/c it's almost impossible to light wet wood. Boo! SO...if you're planning on coming to the party and you have a fun game to bring...bring it!! I have a couple, but it's better to have variety. Hopefully it will stop raining before noon tomorrow but I find that unlikely looking at the stupid radar. I'm so upset. I was almost crying last night over it. :(

Anyways...my party should still be fun! We'll have plenty of food and maybe play a game or two. PLUS it will be fun just seeing everyone!

See you all tomorrow night!

ps. kristi, its ok. I'm sad that your missing it too, but I'll see you at Heather's birthday party @ Lamberts!!!! WOOHOO!!

"SANTA!!!!!...I know him!!!!"

This weekend was so much fun! Friday night me and Tim went to (of course) my brother's game...they played Ft. Walton..And we won, which was good b/c it was a district game. But the best game was Saturday night. And I'm SOO sorry that I missed the Nutcracker this weekend, I'm sure it was beautiful...but Family comes first. Plus, they played Escambia ( a team we've never beaten) and that game was SO intense. We were tied up until the last 20 seconds or so of the game and they fouled twice so we won by 4 points. It was such a good game, and I'm so glad I didn't miss it.

Saturday before the game, me and Tim went our own ways and did Christmas shopping for each other, then we met up at Chets and had a yummy lunch! After spending about 3 more hours shopping we headed home. I have most the stuff for my Christmas party, now all I have to get is the food. I'm soo excited!!

Sunday, I woke up and went to church, Monterey's and then what else, but more shopping. I got most my shopping done...Including you, Carrie...now all I have to get is my brother's. Woohoo!! I bought the Cutest outfits for my Friends little girls. They are so precious. Last night me and Tim took them to the Zoo lights in Gulf Breeze. SO much fun!! I love the Hot Chocolate there, however last night, it was a Little too chocolaty! Sorry you missed it Carrie. We missed you there! I don't know about you guys...but I'm ready for my half day at work on Friday and then Monday Off!!! I wish we were closed next week, but that's not gonna happen. So think of me next week when all you suckers are off! haha! However, we're leaving for Nashville next saturday!! Woohoo!! So excited!!!!

And I'm REALLY excited to get my Christmas gift from Tim. He's so sneaky about it. I gave him his already. Only because I was afraid he was going to go buy one himself. It was a white gold Cross charm. His broke about 3 months ago and he's really been wanting a new one...so it was perfect!! Plus I bought him tickets to see Ron White so that was part of his gift also!! Gosh, I'm so stinkin excited about Christmas! Can't wait!

And I hope to see you ALL this Friday night. Oh and don't worry if you have to come later...I have people coming at all hours of the night. Even one person coming when she gets off at 11:30. I don't know if there will be marshmallows left, but it will be fun to hang out and talk about Christmas!

Hahaha!!

more funny pictures from our "session". :)

this one is "the wink"

I laugh when I look at these pictures...thought you could use a good laugh also! haha!!!

Christmas Party

Last night was my work Christmas Party. It was at Frankos (an Italian restaurant behind the civic center) That place is SO yummy!!! The party was so much fun. My co-workers are all so much fun and we laugh and joke around so much together. I don't think I could hand pick better people to work for and with! I had the shellfish nopolatana, and a glass of pinot grigio...yumm. Tim went with me and he LOVES everyone that I work with also. They just helped him to fit right in. I'm so thankful for that b/c he'll probably be at all the christmas parties in the future with me! Anyways. Thats all for now. Back to work for me!

wow...

Ok..I was so excited about my christmas present from carrie, that I forgot about what happened last night! Tate beat Woodham last night!!!!! Woodham's basketball team has been so good...ahem ahem cheaters ahem....for the past few years that we've never beaten them. For example, if they are winning towards the end of a quarter, they will hold the ball (not dribble) and let the time run out. They try to do that one time, but one of our guys stole the ball right from him and scored. So we WON last night!!! Here's the final score. It was such an intense game from beginning to end but my little brother is improving so stinkin much every single game! I'm so incredibly proud of him!!!! The whole team played Great!!

Anyways...thats all. I just wanted to share my excitement!

Oh and Monday night, me and Tim were pretending that we were professional photographers and took about 1048534095834 pictures of each other so I'll post some of them for your laughing pleasure. :)

This is bandit....and me.

This is me and tim.

So we're not that professional :)

Best Friend Ever!!!

who's going to nashville for christmas?...ME because I have the Best Friend ever!!!

SO EXCITED!!!!

Fear Factor

So...here's a funny story.
I was in the break room today eating my salad and crackers for lunch when my boss walks in. For those that aren't aware, I work for my mom's boyfriend so I am constantly hassled by him. Anyways..back to lunch. As I was eating he came in, made fun of my lunch, and then told me that if I see the mouse to catch it. I had to do a double take and then realized what he said. Of course I told him "yeah ok" and kept eating. Thinking he was joking. Well come to find out...we really do have a pet mouse in our office. Gross! And to think I was 2 feet away from him the whole time! Anyways..I think I have a new fear because I haven't stepped foot near the breakroom since then. :(

"rockin around the christmas tree"

As Sunday approached way to rapidly this weekend, I was thankful. I am Really looking forward to Christmas, so the weekends can pass as fast as they want until then. We have our work Christmas party this Wednesday at Franko's. (It's an Italian restaurant downtown) And then I think me and Tim may go to the Zoo Lights one night this weekend. Depending on which day we go to the Nutcracker. Anyways...I get SO excited looking at different lights on houses. And Tim is so cute when he's see's a house that is all lit up! He's like a kid in a candy store. This past weekend was real fun! On Friday, we went to my brother's basketball game against Ft. Walton Beach. Those boys are SO good. They whooped up on Tate and won by 18 points! ahh! So hopefully when we play them in January, we'll be better prepared. Then on Saturday, me and Tim went to Wal-Mart, (we go at least 4 times a week...it's a sad addiction) and bought some warm weather stuff for the parade Saturday night. We helped carrie out by walking the parade for the Pelicans. Which she ended up having around 25 people there from the booster club so they really didn't need us. O'well. I love parades! Then me, carrie and tim went to O'Zone for dinner! I LOVE that pizza. It's a very close 2nd to Founaris brothers!! After that we just went to the Piano Bar at Seville and hung out with some of Tim's friends and Carrie's co-workers. Tim and I left around 11:30...we were so tired! Sunday we just slept in ( I wanted to make it to church, but it's so nice to lay around) and then cooked our weekly breakfast together. I love cooking with and for Tim. He's always so greatful for everything! He makes me Smile! Then we went to his Step-dad's birthday party where we had yummy Seafood gumbo, parmesian chicken, spaghetti squash, creamed corn, and lemon rice!! It was ALL so extremely good!! I love when his grandma cooks. She's SO good at it!! After that we went to wal-mart (again) but only to take a christmas shirt back that I bought saturday that was a tad to small. After that I went and got my bangs cut.

They were SO long that I couldn't stand it anymore. I needed an all over trim, but I'm always so afraid to get all my hair cut. I don't want them to go crazy...and they always tell me how dead my hair is and how much better it would be to trim it all off, and they wet my hair so much and then don't blow dry it so my hair is always so curly and gross when I leave! I mean how hard is it to cut someone's hair how they want it and to cut it dry. I mean it takes away the whole blow-drying process and the customer can see their hair better when it's dry and how they normally style it...You'd think hairdresser's would know this! (sigh) I'm done ranting now. Have a great Monday!!

RON WHITE!!!!

You may not know...or may just not be a fan of the Blue Collar Comedy...but I am!! I LOVE them all, but Ron White is my favorite! He's the type of funny where he doesn't try to be funny but he is. Anyways..he's coming to the Seanger in February and I got tickets today for me and Tim!! Woohoo!! We're on the 6th row!

thats all.

"chillin out maxin relaxin' all cool, shooting some B-Ball outside my school..."

Here's my brother's (home game) schedule in case any of you guys wanna go! Heather and Rhett went to the last home game and she can tell you...they are sure FUN!!

Date Opponent Time
Dec 8 Ft. Walton Bch. 7.00
Dec 14 Washington 7.00
Jan 9 Choctaw 7.00
Jan 25 Niceville 7.00
Jan26 Washington 7.30
Jan 29 Foley 7.00
Jan 30 Escambia 7.00
Feb 2 W. FL. Tech 7.00

Party Time!!

OK....

The party will probably be Friday the 22nd!! I was going to do it on a week night but my brother has games pretty much every night. SO...Let me know if you can come. it will start around 8ish. I'm really excited!!! I'll send official invitations with directions and what to bring via mail! SO...MARK THOSE CALENDARS. Oh and you don't have to stay the whole time or you can come late if you have something else planned. I'm excited mostly about the bonfire and roasting marshmallows!! woohoo!!

I ALMOST FORGOT!!!

Me and Tim were going to throw a New Year's Eve party since we're saving our money and not going out of town, but seems like EVERYONE else is leaving...so instead we're throwing a Christmas/End of the Year party. It will probably be during the week one night b/c the weekends are so busy this time of year. SO....One of the week nights before christmas weekend, mark your calendars so you all can come. We'll have a bonfire and play dirty santa, have champaigne and everything! AND since my birthday is the 27th, we'll have birthday cake also!! WOOHOO!!! :)

weekend mania...

This weekend was SO much fun!!

Friday night me, carrie, and somer went to the Boys II Men concert in Biloxi. It was so much fun! I mean...who Doesn't Like Boys II men?? Anyways...We were so good b/c we didn't play any money in the slots either!

Saturday Tim and I slept in real late. WELL till about 9 or 10...He cooked me breakfast, then we just layed around and watched Christmas movies on Family Channel. YAY!! Then we finally showered and went to Wal-Mart to buy lights for outside. Of course we spent 800 hours in Wal-Mart and didn't have time to hang them when we got home but thats ok! Then Saturday night we went to the SNOWBALL DERBY!! Well...not the actual big race b/c that one was on sunday. But we had so much fun! (Even though it felt like -15 degrees outside) We met up with Tim's friends Aaron and Bubba and Aaron's girlfriend, who was Olivia Lagagren! So that was pretty cool. I haven't seen her since highschool! Well, we froze and watched about 5 races and only saw about 15 laps of the final race but were icesicles so we decided to leave early. Then we went home and crawled under my heated blanket and drank hot chocolate. yum!!

Sunday was also a lazy day for us. We woke up about 9ish and went to IHOP for breakfast!! I of course had the stuffed french toast with apple's on top!! YUMM!!!
Then we went home and hung lights all outside the house. I'll take a pic tonight to post for you all to see. It's so pretty!!

OH and we had to buy a cable and tie down for Bandit. He's getting in people's yards and chewing up their lights (and a few neighbors bought those huge outside snowglobe things..which I DO NOT want to replace...) so I had to tie him outside. BUT we got him a 50 ft cable so he can still run around a little...it was so sad this morning. But I'm tired of buying lights I can't use!!

Obsessed?

So I know I write on this thing probably more than I should...but I realized something last night and I wanted to share it. plus its a little more deep than my last little spill.

Have you ever woken up one morning thinking that your life was going downhill and that you were going to be stuck in a rut forever? I'm sure all of us have felt this way at one point or another. However...In my case it's a tad different. (little background) I was raised with great parents. My mom and dad were both great to each other and to others. They were the spitting image of what I wanted from my husband when I grew up. I was daddy's girl in a sense. Well, my dad was a drinker from the time I was born. He stopped drinking for about 7 years from the time was in 4th grade to about my Sophmore/Junior year of highschool. Then it was a downhill process. Not that I'm saying my life was bad...but my father was an alcoholic. A very mentally abusive alcoholic with some very bad qualities that followed because of it. Including not being able to hold down a job. I watched my mom struggle for years to just make the house payment. I would not change it for the world because it has made me who I am today. And I love my dad, don't get me wrong. Most girls grow up wanting their future husbands to be most like their fathers...I on the other hand am the opposite. If I see ANY characteristic of my father in any of my boyfriends...I RUN!! AND well for a minute in the beginning of mine and Tim's relationship I was thinking that maybe he wasn't right for me. But my mom reminded me that most men have the same qualities whether we like it or not and sometimes you just have to wait it out to see if that's what's right for you..so I've hung in there..me and Tim have talked. AND....now we're better than EVER! Last night at the game being with him was just right. I couldn't imagine him not being with me. And while there are times when I wish he wasn't with me...my future just doesn't look the same without him in it. I see all these other guys who are so dishonest and hateful, Tim's been nothing but Honest the whole time we've been dating. So well..we'll just see how it goes...but for now, I'm in love! and I love it!

basketball

My brother had his 3rd game last night in Niceville. They were both 2-0 going into last nights game so we all knew it would be great! It was their first district game and man...it was sooo good! Me and Tyler's girlfriend, Chasity (and tim) were yelling so loud we all left with no voices by the end of the night. (which results in more coughing and hacking today..to add to my cold..poo!) The game was so intense. Either we would be up by 2 points or down by 2 points. It was pretty back and forth all night. Well at the end we scored a basket right at the buzzard and so we went into overtime. Even then we were still back and forth. My brother ended up getting fouled out (having 5 fouls means your out of the game) and so he had to sit the bench. Boo! Well they got a point and then fouled again, so they had a couple free throws..and no matter how much we screamed and banged on the bleachers...those free throws went in...dangit!!! So Tate lost 61-65. But It was a GREAT game and they all played sooo good!! PLUS...my baby brother dunked a ball so good that it got all the crowd on their feet chearing!!!! WOOHOOO!!!! He said that gave him a cajillioin points or more! haha!!!

Ok what was even more hilarious than his word cajillion...

After the game we were kinda worried about talking to the boys because they all get in such bad moods after the games. Well Tyler (my bro) said that he wanted to ride back with us. Which was fine...but we were in my mom's nissan maxima which seats 5 and so we were gonna be a little squished because there were already 5 in the car. WELL then his friend Jarrod wants to ride also..so my mom was like YEAH...We'll all squeeze...knowing that she's driving so she's not squeezing nothing. So finally it was me on Tim's lap, Jarrod (who by the way is 3 inches shorter than my 6'8" brother), Chasity on Tyler's lap. Now Tim is pretty short so that kinda was an advantage to the other monsters in the car. But I'm not all that light. Especially for an hour carride. Plus Chasity was on tyler's lap so once we were in...we couldn't move. Until we stopped at whataburger. Then about 10 cops showed up so we couldn't just all pile back in the car. Mom made me and tim walk across the street to this hotel and hide (but pretend we were leaving) so they could come pick us up. That way the cops didn't see anything. It was SO funny! Especially if you all know my mom. She is so funny! She was like.."allright tim, brandi, see you in Pensacola"

Anyways..maybe not funny...but it was hilarious last night seeing us all crammed in the car. Especially when Jarrod was sleeping on tylers shoulder and chasity threatened to take a pic of it!

yuck!

So I woke up this morning...thinking that I'd be feeling better. Well wrong..I have this HUGE knot on the side of my neck and it hurts to even touch it. I am sneezing all over the place and I think my nose forgot how to work. I'm also coughing up that nasty stuff...which makes me feel like I wanna throw up! ugh!

Please tell God to make me better...I don't know how much more I can take. I'm probably going to the doctor during my lunch break today so I can find out what's REALLY going on!

Love you all!

"whistle (err...coughing) while I work"

So I'm at work today spite my sickness. I figured it didn't matter where I was today, at home or work, I would either get better or worse. SO I bit the bullet and decided to at least make some money while I'm sick :)

Anyways...in between tomato soup and hot apple juice...I've been addicted to this website I found. It's www.uncommongoods.com and it has some seriously funny stuff on it. Its just random things that you can purchase as gifts or whatever. Anyways...some of the stuff is really cool. You should all check it out..as I know you all will. (if you sit in front of a computer like I do for 8 hours a day)

Anyways...thats all..just sharing. My weekend wasn't much to brag about. I spent sat and sun in bed and got out long enough for my brother's game on sat night and to make the occasional cup of soup. Being sick sucks. Especially when its a holiday weekend. :(

*cough cough*

Me and Tim are getting the flu (I think). It's awful and I feel like I just ran into a concrete wall. BOO for sickness :(

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."

Only because thanksgiving is in 2 days:

love *true love*. paper. pencils. blue sky. rain. transportation. holdinghands. laughter *kids especially*. walking. crying. living. working. pepperment mocha. jeans that fit perfect. knowing that I'm Not perfect. bonjovi. accuradio @ work. parents. friends *old and new*. carrie 'lizabeth.

*and her family*. new B&B pomegranate lotion. victoria secret. mistakes. single moms. jewelry.

flowers. lost love. memories. silly thoughts. puppies *aka bandit*. poetry. sunshine. children. finding old friends again. pensacola beaches. that I live 20 minutes from these beaches. summer. winter. spring. and fall. my grandfather. and new grandmother. books. timothy.

I'm sure there is much more..and If I wrote it all, it would take up most of this blog. However...as I was scanning through some email prior to writing this, I recieved a letter that a man had once wrote when aked what he was thankful for. I have posted it for you all to read. I think this sums it up for all of us, for at one point in our life we all feel this way.

For the teen-ager who is complaining about doing dishes becauses he is at home and not on the streets.
For the taxes that I pay, because it means that I am employed
For the mess to clean up after a party, because it meansthat I have been surrounded by friends. For the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat.
For my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am out in the sunshine.
For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and need fixing, because it means I have a home.
For all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means that I have freedom of speech.
For the parking spot at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.
For my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm.

For the lady behind me in church that sings off key, because it means that I can hear.
For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard.
For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means I am alive.

For all the email's that I get, because this means I have friends.

God bless you all and have a Safe and Fun Thanksgiving.

~Brandi~

"waAAAnnnteeedd....dead or alive"

This weekend was pretty ordinary...besides the load of money I spent yesterday shopping. The $$ that I probably shouldn't have spent. But its all ok. It was stuff I needed for church since all my stuff from last year has shrunken to an XXS size. Anyways.

Friday...we went to my brother's basketball game which was unbelievably close. They ended up losing by a few points in overtime. After that we made our way to mobile for the molly ringwalds...(who have a special place in my heart). They are always so stinkin much fun! Carrie got my "name" on the list for this friday when They play in Pensacola..but I probably won't go. I may be going out of town...who knows?

Saturday...I slept till about noon then went to meet Carrie and her family at Tailgaters for the Iron Bowl. I'm not a HUGE football fan, but b/c me and carrie are best friends, alabama has a piece of my heart also. They lost unfortunately. But it was a pretty good game. (I guess)
After that, I just went home and caught up on some sleep. I was exhuasted. Well I watched the Reba Giants first. Reba McEntyre is SOO good...I've loved her since I was a little girl. I used to use my hairbrush as a michrophone and just jump around singing Fancy! (I still do sometimes) So hearing all these awesome singers sing her songs and talk about how much they look up to her was so inspiring. Even Barbara Mandrell was there and she is such a great woman to look up to!

Sunday, I FINALLY after like 10 years joined St. Mark! I started going there with carrie and now everyone there is family to me so I decided it was time to make a decision. It feels so great to say that I'm officially a member now. Some people after the service told me that they thought I was already a member...but now Its official! After that is when I went shopping. I was just going to get a few things...but I ended up spending way too much money. I have to take a few things back that I didn't try on, and they are way to big...but other than that, I LOVE everything I bought. When I got home, Tim and I went to Founaris Brothers ( love that place) for dinner and then we went home and passed out. It was a long weekend. But I'm really looking foward to This weekend because it will be 4 days long! YAY!!!

Have a GREAT Thanksgiving everyone!!!

just thought you would all enjoy my baby boy!

"Let's Get Ready To Ruuuuummmmmblllleee!!!!!"

YAY!!!! tonight is the start of what will be my brother's last chance to play basketball as a highschool student...but its also the start of what will be the greatest season for Tate Basketball...of all times. I'm so excited to see him play..you have NO idea. He didn't play last year because of a torn ACL and surgury in the beginning of the season. So I missed it so much last year and can't wait for tonight. ALL you guys should come...at least to one of his games. He's really tall (6'8" to be exact) and starts every game. I consider him the best one on the team... haha. Anyways..tonights game is at West Florida Tech at 5:00 and tomorrow they play at 7:30 at West Florida Tech. I'll keep you updated and let you know when he has some home games. I know you're all dying to come!! :) AND I'll post some pictures tomorrow from tonights game.

*I posted some of my favorite pictures of my "little" brother for you all to enjoy.

thats all.

Every mile a memory

This weekend was actually quite fun! Friday night my family and carrie and tim went to get a sneak peek at tyler's basketball team. They got a new coach who is 23 years old, and Chris Bingle, who graduated with us..is one of the assistant coaches.

It was so much fun! (for those that don't know my brother, he's a senior at tate and 6 feet 8 inches tall) Anyways..they had some sort of a dunk contest which wasn't a contest...just them seeing who could do the best dunk...which for my brother all he has to do is stand tippy toe'd and make it. Well then they had a scrimage and it was so exciting..his real games start this week so I'm super excited to see him play this year.

(oh and I've lost about 10 lbs since this pic so nevermind me...bluyck)

Saturday was spent from 7:00 till 3:00ish at the air show working with carrie at her pelican booth. It was fun! We gave kids pelican tattoos and were in competition to see who could give the best tattoo..those things are hader than they look!! Then Saturday night me and tim sat around and ate icecream and watched wizard of Oz and then Home Alone...I love those movies.

Sunday I went to church and then to eat at monterey's (a sunday tradition) with carrie's family. THEN me and carrie went shopping and spent major money. But it was fun and way worth it!! I love shopping. I also got my friends little girls a couple cute jackets from old navy b/c they were having HUGE sales.

Well that was my weekend...not too busy...but fun!!!

yeah we both got dreams....

I FINALLY GOT MY NEW TATTOO....I've been wanting it forever and I finally buckled down and got it...and all the pain and suffering was worth it. I LOVE it!!